Tag: deivf

Facing it Head On (& burning it down)

Throughout the years of infertility treatments, I never once read a book about the topic. No interest whatsoever. I didn’t want to read some bullshit “it only takes one egg” or “do these yoga poses and your eggs will magically reappear in your ovaries” inspirational publications, and I didn’t want to read a book by someone who got their happy…

Dealing with the Should in my head

“I want you to imagine trying hard at something that’s physical, that’s emotional, that’s a woman thing (and therefore embarrassing and silly and bad, according to our stupid culture). I want you to imagine trying hard at something that seems to define what “quality” of woman you are, and even when you push those toxic notions out of your head…

Eco-licious

Last week of July, whoa! Next week, right on schedule, the reason I hate August will be here. 102 degree forecast for Wednesday. Fuckity fuck fuck.  I detest the heat and with just the bedroom A/C it’s not going to be great. So because of that, this is a special Grumpy Edition of Eco-licious…with a nice happy musical treat at…

Rediscovery

I was watching television on a Saturday night, thinking “is this all there is?” and the loneliness enveloping me. It’s what’s made me eat when I shouldn’t, that numbing food addiction that made me say to myself “tonight I’m going to fuck over my body with unkind food choices.” And I get sick and I cry to myself, because it’s…

When Sh*t Keeps Hitting the Fan…

So those of y’all who’ve been reading my blog know what the past 2 1/2 or so years have been like. It hasn’t all sucked, but the combination of 2 IUIs, 6 rounds of DEIVF, miscarriage @ 9 weeks, Ethiopia’s closing of adoptions and losing that opportunity as well, skin cancer surgery, 7+ months of herniated disc injury/recovery, two fender…

Henry

One year ago we saw that second pink line on a home pregnancy test, and our hearts leapt out of our chests, tears running down our faces as we realized that finally, after two IUIs and four rounds of donor egg IVF, we would be parents. At 6 weeks, 5 days, we saw you for the first time and your…

So Fucking Done (today’s vent)

I’m sitting here with vision only in my one eye, unable to leave my house and take a simple walk down the street, unable to watch television, unable to do anything beyond sit around stewing in my thoughts on this 100 degree day. I’m recuperating from a herniated disc injury that’s lasted seven months and dealing with people both online…

Post-mortem

Scotch. Two glasses of Glenmorangie, the Scotch that I dove into during my trip to Scotland back in 2010, the year before I met my true love. Drinking two glasses of it, neat, at a nearby bar with my husband, letting it swiftly warm my belly and allowing everything to sit off to the side for the day after hell…

7dp5dt (AKA: nausea to the nth degree)

I don’t even have pictures for today, as I’m in such a twist emotionally and physically. Took the test this morning, just the one line. Realized I only have digital tests left, maybe I need to go get ones with lines for tonight in case we get our dream and it’s a faint line that comes up before an absolute…