Category: Musings

On this day…

Ten Father’s Days have passed since you died. Four Father’s Days have passed since my husband’s father died. And we close in on the 2-year anniversary that I found out I was pregnant, the only time I would be pregnant for nine glorious weeks before fatherhood was stolen away from my husband, and motherhood was stolen away from myself. Some…

Getting Sentimental…

Saturday is upon us and several more showings are on the schedule. I need to leave the house spotless, immaculate, unlived in yet welcoming, inviting to a buyer who will hopefully see themselves in this garden we are leaving for them in this kitchen they will inherit, in this home I have made over the past 12 years. And whenever…

Four Years, Four Months, Sixteen Days

4 years, 4 months and 16 days…that’s how long it took from start to finish to get Dan to taking the oath of US Citizenship. Because so many others have been through this process in so many different ways, the timeline varies depending on how you came into the country, what country you’re coming in from, and so much more.…

Kismet, I tell ya…

So this past Friday I met with my therapist as I do twice a month, and after last session’s EMDR, I was definitely hoping for a session more conversational and a bit less intense and emotionally exhausting (nothing like dredging up childhood memories to mentally wipe you out!). Besides, I was going in there with a bunch of ideas for…

Guest Post: Five Women

When my husband and I married, he shrunk his collection of books by about 80% in order to move across the Pacific, and recently I noticed the majority of his books are by male authors. If you think about it, books written by women are all too often considered “women’s lit” and movies directed by women or written by them…

This weird clusterf**k anniversary

  April 22nd is a weird fucking day for me. First of all, it’s Earth Day. Not weird. Awesome, in fact. My favorite holiday.  I’ve written about it from a technology perspective, as well as from corporate “green team” and volunteer perspectives, Today I will plant bachelor’s buttons and sunflower seeds in the garden, something we’ll not get to enjoy…

my dualities, my life, my journey

I took my love, I took it down Climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills ‘Til the landslide brought it down Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons…

Playing it by ear (3 day journey)

TUESDAY I can’t say each day what I am going to feel or hear or inhale or gather in. I know that I am not a mother. My therapist told me to express thanks for blessings already on their way and I said why. WHY. We did this one year ago, two years ago, three years ago and…nothing. The agency…