Category: Musings

Right this second (now)

It’s been a while, you and your letters that all came together out of the broadness of my mind. Back when I’d just let my heart go onto keys and out would come bits of my brain and heart and memories and hopes and, well, you know the rest. It’s been a while since I simply released, let that control…

Gratitude Alert!

The bagels turned out freakin’ fabulous – and not any harder than making bread (literally 2 extra steps!). One was a bit bigger than the rest, heh, but dang they were tasty – especially with red onions, capers, and the homemade maple and fennel cured salmon we made from our annual Alaskan salmon CSA that we were savvy enough to…

A Day Without a Woman

In support of International Women’s Day and A Day Without a Woman, my offices will be closed and this blog post you see was written and scheduled on Tuesday for this Wednesday post. This day is not just about women – this is about all of us.

Creating My Top Five

So last week this photo above is how I was feeling. Infertility. Back Injury. My weight gain since the infertility battle began 2+ years ago. I was fucking angry, depressed, anxious, everything negative exuding from me. Pissed off a lot. Every time something emotional would occur, personally or for that matter, on the TV, my throat would swell up, feeling…

6 years ago…

Six years ago today you visited my blog! Since then, we’ve wandered the streets of Melbourne, played down on the peninsula at Indented Head, walked for hours along the Oregon Coast, eaten hot dogs and watched baseball in Seattle, road-tripped through Olympic National Park, followed the trail of Raymond Carver, drank wine and ate a whole lotta cheese in Paris,…

Forty-Three

So on Tuesday I turned 43. Whoa! Forty-three. 15,695 days lived, and counting. It’s an age I never contemplated, and while I don’t fear being in my forties, this particular number (and everything after it) seriously has never come to mind. The last year I can say “early forties” because next year it becomes “mid-forties”. It’s just…strange! I’m still amazed…

From the Bottom of My Heart

Thank you, Barack and Michelle Obama, for everything. I am forever grateful for the 8 years we were so blessed to have you in the White House and setting THE example forĀ  integrity, kindness, humor, intelligence, honesty, and authenticity, something we needed so much and that we are so devastated to be losing. Thank you for all that you have…

Where I Came From

Every six years from the year I was born, I found myself in a completely different universe. The last picture was taken back in 2014, 2 months before my infertility was diagnosed. So where will I be in 2020? A mother? Wandering the earth like Cain in Kung Fu? Who knows. “As women, we have to start appreciating our own…

I’m Still Breathing…

So today was my mock-cycle ultrasound, with the ironic news that my lining is gorgeous at a teensy bit under 9mm a week before the biopsy – the best it’s ever been. And I was allowing myself to smile, until… To add a new layer to the shit sandwich I’ve been served this week, my ND decided that she is…

2016 in Pictures

It’d be too easy to say that the year was a shitty one with the many difficulties my husband and I waded through, but with this post I want to celebrate what was beautiful, and use that to forge ahead, because as Florence and the Machine reminded me as I wrote this… The dog days are over The dog days…