EcoFem Links – February 2019

beeswrap

While in PDX we also stopped by Garden Fever, one of my two most favorite garden stores (Xera is a close second) and they had a TON of Beeswrap for sale! I started using this stuff years ago in place of plastic wrap and it is SO awesome, but I only had S/M/L squares of this reusable beeswax-based wrap, and so I snatched up the sandwich packet, bread wrap, and XL size square for even more sustainable food storage awesomeness.

Okay folks February is now in full swing and I’ve been storing up a bunch of interesting links that I thought y’all should check out. So, click on them and READ. It’s good for you.

  • We consume oat milk now instead of almond milk. This is why. And yeah, when we were in Portland, we bought all the rest of the oat milk in the aisle because we now get why there’s a national oat milk shortage. Last night we had oat milk hot chocolate. Holy hell that is some good sipping.
  • “I have long believed that success stories need a bit of balance. We only hear from people who risked it all, and found it paid off. I would like to see more coverage of people saying, “I chased my dreams and did everything I could to make it happen, and it went really badly wrong. All I have to my name is a Tony Robbins DVD and a Go Hard or Go Home poster.” Man I loved this post by Romesh Ranganathan in The Guardian calling out the BS of the inspirational quote that if you just work hard you’ll get what you want. That if you win the game it’s because you just wanted it more than the other person who lost. That you should Never, Ever Give Up. And right as I read the quote above to my husband I turned to look at him and say – isn’t that the goddamn truth about infertility as well. Those who have been reading my blog throughout my failed years of actively trying to become a mother know how I feel about those assholes (primarily ones who already have kids) who not only tell you to “never give up” but get pissed if you tell them how hurtful that is (my favorites being the ones who preached the ‘don’t say X or Y to an infertile woman’ before they got pregnant). This article articulates why I fucking hate the “never give up” bullshit. I swear to god not long ago someone actually said to me, “well you never know” and I just took a deep breath and said yes, yes I do know.
  • “An inability to grapple with racial dynamics with any nuance or complexity is ubiquitous in younger white people who have been raised according to an ideology of colorblindness.” Perfectly said in this article addressing “niceness” and the related issues surrounding white privilege and the racism that seeps into so many that I like to call “suburban racists.” (whether one is in the city or not). You know, like my mom who says she’s not racist yet has never had a black friend in her life even though she went to school with many black people at Franklin. Or like our former next-door neighbors in Portland who had their convenient little “In Our America…” yard sign posted yet never once spoke to the black foster kids in all the years they lived on the other side of them (how do I know? These awesome kids from two houses away played in our front yard with us a lot, and told us that those neighbors in all their years had never once acknowledged them, not to mention did nothing about the rats their chicken coop attracted that would go come in and out of their family’s yard…and the look and tone of disdain the husband had when he told us he would NEVER want his daughter to go to the local school – most diverse elementary school in the city). Or like the (former) friend of mine who suddenly yelled while driving at someone jaywalking and said “move your black ass outta the way”, causing my chin to nearly hit the floorboard…yet she could never understand why that was not OK. Or the client who asked for a diverse candidate pool and could always think of reasons not to meet with two top black candidates I’d put in front of them, then hearing later that the hiring manager said “ignore that diversity stuff”. Or like all of these situations where white people are calling cops for no reason. How do I know what white privilege is? I know that as a white woman I only have to deal with sexism if I don’t smile at a stranger when they wave at me – I don’t have to worry about some cunt calling the cops accusing me of criminal activity. As women, we know what sexism feels like. We know what male privilege is (those who’ve not buried their heads in the sand, at least) and what men can get away with that women can’t. So why is it so hard for so many to show humility and sensitivity to what people of color are subject to in our society? Don’t answer it, just think about it, and what every one of us can do to be better.
  • So last Thursday I turned 45. One that started out with a romantic walk on the beach in a tropical destination and ended with the first stages of travelers’ diarrhea that is best described by Ben Greenfield in his blog. Nope, I don’t feel any different from when I was 44. That being said, THIS blog post was a riot. As the fellow 45 year old woman author said, “As you age, you also learn that the “0” to “4” at the end of your age is fantastic, and once you hit the “5,” like 45, you round up. You are essentially 50 and everyone knows it. Second halves of decades go faster.” And after buying a new pillow today because that has GOT to be the reason why I’m hurting today, I laughed out loud when she mentioned sleeping injuries (“You know, that complete immobility you feel in your neck that’s the result of nothing more than sleeping in your bed? Yup. I spent the day unable to look left.“). Hell yeah. That’s another part of 45 it appears. I looked in the mirror today at those gray roots that seem to grow exponentially faster the minute I contemplate another round of hair dye and wonder, maybe I should just leave it be see what it looks like without any chemicals. I mean, my husband’s been salt and pepper as long as I’ve known him (odd to think that I never knew my love without gray hair…I shared with him how pissed off I was that it took us so long to find each other on this planet. PS – thank you, blogland for bringing this amazing man to me eight years ago yesterday).
  • I still cannot comprehend why women shave off all their pubic hair these days. What the living fuck. As I told my husband, I blame 100% of that on Sex and the City, in particular the moment where, in the movie, the camera does a close-up on Miranda’s crotch in a swimsuit showing a few errant hairs peeking out and Samantha saying “gee honey, wax much?” in a horribly nasty tone and Miranda being defensive and making excuses rather than telling them to go fuck themselves because she doesn’t choose to look like a 6 year old girl down there. Why blame SATC? Well, did you ever see women who were not prostitutes wearing six inch stilettos before this show came out (and now it’s nearly impossible to find a reasonable 2″ heel because everything in the magazines pushes women to look like they are standing on their tippytoes on a street corner, fucking up their legs and backs in order to appeal to men). The normalization of porn. Which is just like the whole shaving off your pubes. Trim it? Fine. But to wax it all off because you’ve been told that you are not sexy, not attractive, not clean if you have the hair you were born with, the hair that is there FOR A REASON? It’s a disgusting commentary on how anti-women our society is today and how the media has told us that we as women are sexually liberated…and yet make us think it was our idea to pay someone to put wax on our nether regions and rip it off. As Suzanne Moore said in The Guardian, “The gaze with which some women judge their own labia as misshapen or abnormal is an internalised male gaze. Often it has come from the ramped-up, lowered-down expectations of porn…There are two conversations going on at once here: we have a culture of sexual openness, hook-ups, free bleeding and jokes about vaginas in public. At the same time, female bodies are still dirty, troublesome and never perfect enough.”
  • On a completely different topic, the people and organizations who came out to look after the federal workers forced to work for free need to be recognized, and one is my very own town of Astoria, who not only temporarily waived water/sewer bills for federal workers during the shutdown (we have a large Coast Guard community here along with Lewis & Clark National Historic Park down the street), but offered things like free swim & activity passes and of course, access to their food pantry.
  • My new hero? UFC badass Polyana Viana. Read what she did to a man who tried to fuck with her.

And as we approach Super Bowl Sunday (I’ll be rooting against that fucking asshole supporter of Hitler-Wannabe #45, QB Tom Brady, naturally), I thought I’d show you the video if you’ve not seen it already of the Ron Clark Academy students in Atlanta partnering up with Ludacris. It makes my heart sing with joy to see these kids.

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3 thoughts on “EcoFem Links – February 2019

  1. My pillow is causing me issues. Some nights it’s ok and others it’s out to be mean. I am 51. Yep things change half time. And some things ..well they won’t always sort themselves out. Sometimes best to move on. ‘re the hair issue…err I do and it’s not about porn or men. I just like to be hairless. Always have and now it’s just routine. But I certainly don’t think about it and make it a mission…too busy juggling life!

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