Healing (days 1-4): Sunrise, Purpose, Essence, Today

Inspired by my fellow blogger over at Sliding Doors, I’ve decided to jump in and do the daily healing blog entry based on these particular words brought up by another blogger to help work through the heartache of losing our child, who would be 19 months if he had been born into our world…

Because this is a different word a day and I am 4 days late and starting the challenge, I’m going to catch up with four photos that signify the first 4 days of the month, and starting tomorrow will do one post a day.

If you’ve ever lost a child, please feel free to join me. If you have been fortunate enough to avoid this kind of trauma, the fact that you are listening is appreciated, and those who dare to speak up rather than stay silent… are appreciated even more.

Day 1: Sunrise

In in the state of life we have begun along the Oregon coast, the sunrise gives me hope every morning that we can move forward in our journey and continue to heal from our losses. Either that or more compartmentalization.

Day 2: Purpose

So I’m borrowing this image as I have no idea of how to define what my purpose is…because honestly at 44 I have no idea why I am here. so I bought a Mark Twain book on Joan of Arc today and maybe that will help. But that’s the thing about grief, about loss. It makes you doubt everything.

Day 3: Essence

Remembering ME. She’s been so forgotten, so taking care of the needs of others who don’t step up to the plate, so trying to hold the world in her hands. She’s lost, she’s scared, she’s not sure if her soul or essence thereof even exists… My baby? I knew you were Henry.

Day 4: Today

Shoot. Today I could only focus on breathing. And chicken Kati roll. Today is grief and perimenopause and isolation and writing about something that can never be erased.


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