Infertility PTSD – the film version!

So I was listening to NPR this weekend and there was a brief blurb about how Paul Giamatti and Kathryn Hahn were in a new Netflix film that focused on infertility, multiple failed IVF rounds, and donor eggs.

It comes out in a couple days so looks like husband and I will get a big bottle of something intoxicating and watch this and try not to fall down the chasm…

PS – All I can say is when Hahn said in the preview to Giamatti’s character, “you’ll have your genetic contribution and me? I’m just…left out,” I knew I’d have to watch this. For anyone who’s gone the donor route in particular, there’s a microscopic level of attention to this side of IVF.

Oh yeah, and there are a LOT of dickheads leaving comments on YouTube – you know, the pricks who like to tell us to “just adopt” and other ignorant nasty shit. Fuck them. We need advocates, not preachers. We deserve understanding even when empathy isn’t possible. And we really, really need people to get fucking educated (and call out those who say stupid shit because if you don’t educate them, they’re going to go on to hurt more of us out there just battling to keep our wits about us).

  One thought on “Infertility PTSD – the film version!

  1. KK
    October 4, 2018 at 7:22 am

    This looks like an interesting film. Also, that last paragraph about the pricks preaching “ADOPT!” couldn’t be any more timely because my MIL very recently told me after I told her that we are currently taking a break from TTC due to various reasons that I could go on about: “Maybe God’s calling you to adopt.” SMH.

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  2. October 4, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    Ohhph finally watched the trailer….going along think I’m ok (maybe I don’t feel anymore) then Wham! There’s some feelings!

    Liked by 1 person

    • October 4, 2018 at 6:21 pm

      I know right? I listen to a public broadcasting interview with Tamara Jenkins and she talked about how the doofuses who say “just adopt” don’t go to people who are just about to have sex and say, hey there’s too many kids in the world who need homes you should just adopt instead of procreate…loved that (as the movie is based on her own experiences)

      Liked by 1 person

      • October 6, 2018 at 1:13 am

        I never really got the Just adopt comments, but probable because we never really told many people what we were going through.
        I feel like I might need to consume A LOT of cocktails before even being able to watch this movie!

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        • October 6, 2018 at 7:45 am

          Well we watched the movie last night and it wasn’t as traumatic as anticipated, but definitely hit on a few key emotions and got a lot of it right without being cheesy or syrupy. I think we found it interesting because they went into the issue of donor egg and doing that and adoption at the same time, but a greater majority of the movie had to do with them looking for a donor and the overall experience of trying to have a family in multiple ways all at the same time and how it affects a marriage…and there was no miscarriage involved which I think would have been what triggered me the worst. I think watching it just made us feel glad that there was someone out there portraying it in a more realistic way than a lot of the crap that has come out over the years. So even if you don’t get around to watching it (as it’s kind of like deliberately listening to sad songs when you’re sad…), just know that someone did it right…and without giving away the ending, the writer made sure not to wrap up anything in a nice little bow.

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