One big reason we bought this property…mornings like this with fog across the pasture and only the sounds of birds in my ears…

Stuff to think about this week:

  • THIS is a huge example of why unions – and photojournalists – are so essential, and MUST be supported.
  • Australia’s racism problem in a nutshell – yet the author even misses the boat when it comes to the intersection of racism and sexism, not calling out the obvious – old white dudes running these organizations.
  • A pasta recipe with leftover chicken and veg that actually kicks ass. Yeah, you heard me, I’m throwing in a recipe in my Eco-licious post. Don’t worry, this post will end on a very, very intense note.
  • They may be pretty but sustainable? Skylights are definitely not good for energy efficiency. The linked article summarizes well why we are having our roofer remove the three of them altogether this week (FOUR layers have been discovered under the metal roof and have been taken off to be replaced with one good comp layer this week).
  • Great food for thought on social vs individual feminism: #MeToo and the reckoning that it has provoked has given us all knowledge we would rather not have – knowledge of just how normal some terrible things are, of just how much some of us have suffered.” No kidding. I went through my own reckoning over the past years thinking about all the shit I put up with (beyond the assault when I was 10 by my 20-something brother-in-law) growing up and in my 20’s and 30s, and yeah even occasionally now in my 40s….stuff I figured was just the price to pay for being a woman. Wait – did you read that? “I put up with” was my first way of writing this. Scratch that. Make that – “all the shit That Men Did To Me”. Saying I put up with it implies that somehow I was okay with it. I figured I had to put up with it. So think about your past, ladies:
    • Think of how many nightclubs we’ve been in where men just randomly grab us on the ass or worse, as if they had a right to our bodies…because they blame it on what we’re wearing, or the way we’re moving on the dance floor, as if they have no control, as if it’s our fault
    • Think about how many – including myself – automatically took Self Defense classes as young women (or even girls) to protect ourselves from men, and how you learned to walk alone at night to your apartment, with your keys between your fingers so you could claw his eyes out if he attacked.
    • Think about that boss you had that thought he could touch you inappropriately (I think of Seymour Duncan and how he – right in front of his ex-wife, the CEO and my boss, the President – reached over and RUBBED MY BELLY while standing in the hall talking about HR issues, or how when I was clocking in he came up next to me and KISSED me on the cheek. What the fuck do you do when you are HR, you are the primary breadwinner trying to pay bills and go to school, and your bosses, the executives, laugh it off? What the fuck do you do when “that’s just how he is” is the response. What the fuck do you do when your (now ex-) husband doesn’t want to go beat the shit out of him when you tell him this? You’ve got no one. So you try to laugh it off, be “one of the guys”, pretend it doesn’t matter. Yet you still remember both incidents vividly 15 years later.
    • Think about those in your inner circle, maybe even in your family, who talked a good talk about what should happen to child molesters and rapists…then you find out they knew about how you were assaulted by a family member and they not only didn’t do anything about it, they welcomed him into their home years later when he was back with her. Or when you find out in your 40s that your older brother did something to your older sister, and all your childhood memories get wiped out in one fell swoop…while the perpetrator remains the Golden Boy of the family. And they wonder why you stay away.
    • Think about the friends you have who were raped – as children, as young women, by someone they know or didn’t know – and how this has impacted them to the core, from how they look at the world to how they live to how they make decisions in life. And then you think of how many of them would not be believed if they told their story, or if they did report the crime, how most of their rape kits would never be processed, or how their only credibility when talking about it is if they’ve got a good lawyer or many, MANY people also came forward (because for some reason to “just” rape one person isn’t a big deal). I remember a friend who in high school was raped repeatedly by her older brother – and her parents knew, and still let him live there, and she was doing everything she could to convince herself that she “loved” her brother, because she blamed herself…because her parents did nothing to hold this creepy piece of shit accountable. Just like my parents felt sorry for the enablers in my assault. And then you see the most evil congressmen like Lindsay Graham and Mitch McConnell and Chuck Grassley shitting all over our gender this week, screaming at women for having the NERVE to call out their attackers….and you wonder why things are how they are.

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