In Full Effing Swing: Perimenopause

Yeah so this was the kind of shit I saw the older women in my offices in the past talking about and sweating over…literally.

Hello my name is Aimee and I’m 44 and I am going through Perimenopause. (Hi Aimee!)

So I knew my periods going seriously fucking crazy was a hint. And I knew about the mood swings violently and abruptly changing meant hormones were messing with me. And of course it came to my full attention this past year when my dry eye went out of control and my eye doctor couldn’t fathom that it was related to perimenopause even though it’s hugely common and published all over the internet (of course, that fucker misdiagnosed both my husband and I several times, so needless to say we’ve switched providers…).

But here are two things this month that have occurred that I ain’t too fond of:

  • I had my first hot flash last week. Just like in the movies, I was stripping off my layers in a hurry. It was in the morning when the house was just 62 degrees and we had decided to turn the heat up to 65 to warm my skinny ass husband up, and by 65 I was in the fucking tropics. They ask, “are you sure that’s what it was?” and I respond, “you know how you knew your first orgasm was just that? you KNOW.”
  • Then? I looked in my 5 year journal (that I’m now 3 years into) and mentioned to my husband that it has seriously been TWO YEARS since my last haircut where I cut it to chin length…and my hair is literally JUST now brushing the top of my shoulders. I am not someone that hangs out at the salon but usually I get my hair cut once a year come-hell-or-high-water because it has always been known for growing notoriously fast and y’all, if I went 2 years without a haircut I’d literally be the spitting image of my childhood icon, Crystal Gayle. So I looked it up and, yep, estrogen keeps your hair in the “growing phase” and reduced oestrogen levels shorten that phase so your hair sheds before it reaches the length that it used to be able to. Well, shit. So what does that mean? It means my great grandmother, who had her hair in a long white braid when I met her at 94, must’ve had that a long, long time. And once my hair gets to my desired length? No annual cut! Make a choice on your hair length and stick with it ’cause it ain’t going to grow a like weed anymore, it seems…

So, I’m trying some Rescue Remedy on the homeopathic side and L-Theanine (which, ironically, my ND during the IUI phase of infertility treatments gave me along with 16 other bottles of stuff that did…nothing), but dang. All those years of periods only to get crapped on by Infertility and Baby Loss and now, oh yeah, Perimenopause is here to drive my hormones into the next chapter.

So I’m trying to remember the words of Dr. Christiane Northrup about what this phase of my life means…

“The menopausal transition is actually a profound developmental stage in which unfinished business from the past comes up once again for resolution and healing, so that we can free ourselves from the outmoded beliefs and behaviors of our past. All the issues that weren’t resolved during puberty and early adulthood—such as body image, relationships, vocation, fear of aging, and self-esteem issues—now arise once more to be healed and completed.”

In other words…


6 thoughts on “In Full Effing Swing: Perimenopause

  1. Ok, Aimee, let me start with (((hugs))) because I’m dealing with the same raging hormones (gotten myself a couple of mental health diagnoses that are probably nothing more than perimenopause, so yeah, I totally understand)

    Now. That quote. Holy shitballs, girlfriend, that explains so much. Like, what I’m going through right now. The parts of my past that I cannot stop thinking about. The grieving and healing that I need to do but can’t seem to figure out.

    Much love to you😙


  2. OK I didn’t know about the dry-eye thing – mine are desiccated deserts, I can find nothing to moisten them up. I can barely read any more. I had no idea that was another treat of the 40s. I take red krill oil for mood swings, I’m convinced it works. I’m less homicidal on it and it gives me a small buzz. It’s expensive though. One thing I know is GPs (doctors in general) know less than we do after a bit of surfing. My stupid GP told me for years ‘you’re too young for X,Y,Z’ when I was 38, 39, 40+ and obviously going through it. I feel nothing but scorn for her now.


    1. Yeah with the dry eye thing, my eye doctor wanted to put me on Xiidra which here in the States costs like $500/mo – I did a free trial and it did nothing, then my Naturopath recommended Similisan (over the counter) and it’s helped a lot along with using a lid scrub every morning when I wake up – not 100% but a helluva lot better than what it was. Yeah I was told by a GP that “perhaps these are leftover hormones in your system from IVF because perimenopause doesn’t begin til your 50’s” – almost a year after stopping treatments, and yeah, completely false as perimenopause can definitely start in one’s late 30s and early 40s! I hate that Dr Google is smarter too much of the time!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll check out Similisan, thanks. Makes me rage that GPs have such outdated knowledge and unimaginative views. My friends and I are always saying that we feel we know more than they do, just from some basic surfing before our appointment. They’re becoming outmoded and obsolete, something needs to change


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