Yeah so this was the kind of shit I saw the older women in my offices in the past talking about and sweating over…literally.
Hello my name is Aimee and I’m 44 and I am going through Perimenopause. (Hi Aimee!)
So I knew my periods going seriously fucking crazy was a hint. And I knew about the mood swings violently and abruptly changing meant hormones were messing with me. And of course it came to my full attention this past year when my dry eye went out of control and my eye doctor couldn’t fathom that it was related to perimenopause even though it’s hugely common and published all over the internet (of course, that fucker misdiagnosed both my husband and I several times, so needless to say we’ve switched providers…).
But here are two things this month that have occurred that I ain’t too fond of:
- I had my first hot flash last week. Just like in the movies, I was stripping off my layers in a hurry. It was in the morning when the house was just 62 degrees and we had decided to turn the heat up to 65 to warm my skinny ass husband up, and by 65 I was in the fucking tropics. They ask, “are you sure that’s what it was?” and I respond, “you know how you knew your first orgasm was just that? you KNOW.”
- Then? I looked in my 5 year journal (that I’m now 3 years into) and mentioned to my husband that it has seriously been TWO YEARS since my last haircut where I cut it to chin length…and my hair is literally JUST now brushing the top of my shoulders. I am not someone that hangs out at the salon but usually I get my hair cut once a year come-hell-or-high-water because it has always been known for growing notoriously fast and y’all, if I went 2 years without a haircut I’d literally be the spitting image of my childhood icon, Crystal Gayle. So I looked it up and, yep, estrogen keeps your hair in the “growing phase” and reduced oestrogen levels shorten that phase so your hair sheds before it reaches the length that it used to be able to. Well, shit. So what does that mean? It means my great grandmother, who had her hair in a long white braid when I met her at 94, must’ve had that a long, long time. And once my hair gets to my desired length? No annual cut! Make a choice on your hair length and stick with it ’cause it ain’t going to grow a like weed anymore, it seems…
So, I’m trying some Rescue Remedy on the homeopathic side and L-Theanine (which, ironically, my ND during the IUI phase of infertility treatments gave me along with 16 other bottles of stuff that did…nothing), but dang. All those years of periods only to get crapped on by Infertility and Baby Loss and now, oh yeah, Perimenopause is here to drive my hormones into the next chapter.
So I’m trying to remember the words of Dr. Christiane Northrup about what this phase of my life means…
“The menopausal transition is actually a profound developmental stage in which unfinished business from the past comes up once again for resolution and healing, so that we can free ourselves from the outmoded beliefs and behaviors of our past. All the issues that weren’t resolved during puberty and early adulthood—such as body image, relationships, vocation, fear of aging, and self-esteem issues—now arise once more to be healed and completed.”
In other words…