I know this is a horse property we bought but this scary golden-eyed horse “window” outside on the patio is going to have to find a new home…

I’m back for some calling out of stuff that I think needs calling out, woo hoo!

  • Fuck civility. “Are we really to believe that the same people who voted for a man who suggested a woman was too ugly to sexually assault now care about a naughty word for female genitalia? The same people who defended a man who said he grabbed women “by the pussy”? Are Americans really supposed to keep quiet and polite as Republicans implement policies that literally rip nursing infants from their mothers’ breasts and are building tented internment camps for children?” Jessica Valenti, as usual, telling it like it is when Democrats and anyone else calling out that dipshit in the white house tell us we should “calm down” and “play nice” and “when they go low we go high”. No. This is not that kind of world where just ignoring racism, sexism, environmental destruction and all the other hate spewing from this pathetic excuse for a man doesn’t fly. Call out the shit, ladies. Samantha Bee was right the first time around – Ivanka Trump IS a feckless cunt (…as are Melania Trump and Sarah Sanders) and all of those still supporting that rapist in the White House are no better than the supporters of Adolf Hitler.
  • The bastard is also fucking over our precious pollinators that are responsible for 75% of the crops on earth – from endagered bumblebees that now rely on projects to track their sheer existence to honeybees who are now no longer protected from the neonicotinoids known for causing massive bee deaths. I am happy to say on our 5 acres, the bumblebees and honeybees are happy, but do I know what is being sprayed around me? No idea. And I will do whatever the fuck it takes to protect the wildlife, big and small, in my neck of the woods…and support NRDC and others fighting the bigger battles for the environment.
  • Well, I finally rented Black Panther (when it came out my back was physically unable to withstand movie theater seats), and to tell you the truth, I thought it unfortunately sucked. Another violent action movie where the women play second fiddle to the men in a patriarchal society. Yes, it featured a fantastic cast, but like a Tyler Perry movie, it was sorely bland and used very few talents in a way to make most of the characters inspirational for those who are looking for a society where all genders are truly equal. As Lena Potts said in this article for Medium, “It’s interesting to watch a movie that is so lauded for its powerful and empowered women, and yet they’re still supporting characters and in subservient roles. They were the most capable people in the movie, and none of them will rule Wakanda.” Exactly. I would have loved to see the forward-thinking vibe that was in Wonder Woman, but it just was a traditional white superhero movie featuring black characters who in the rest of their careers are phenomenal…yet in this movie, jumped on the bandwagon of patriarchy. It reminds me of the article by Gloria Steinem back in 2008 I referenced the first week I started this blog nearly 10 years ago, where she brought up the real question of how successful Barack Obama might have been in getting elected had he been a black woman instead of a black man, and called it out really well (no matter how painful it might be to hear): “So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race; because children are still raised mostly by women (to put it mildly) so men especially tend to feel they are regressing to childhood when dealing with a powerful woman; because racism stereotyped black men as more “masculine” for so long that some white men find their presence to be masculinity-affirming (as long as there aren’t too many of them); and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what.”
  • Want to see something TRULY badass? Watch the Project Body Hair video and see women of every color doing their thing and celebrating what they have growing in their pits and between their legs. The fact is, women have been told since Sex and the City that waxing your pubic hair off is essential, that to look like a pre-pubescent girl will somehow make you desirable, and since the 1980s that your own body hair in your pits is completely uncouth. What the fuck, y’all. If you want to shave it, shave it, but not because you think it makes you more attractive. I swear, ever since I heard Samantha condescendingly say “wax much, honey?” to Miranda, forcing her to defend herself (why?), I was repulsed by the whole pressure of today’s culture telling women that they should no longer look like grown women ‘down there’ – and to men that this is what they should desire. As Hank said, “Why would you want her to be bald? Babies are bald. Girls are bald. A woman, down there, isn’t bald. Sexiness and confidence is not bald.” Waxing is basically the douching of the 1980’s – back then women were told their natural scent was gross and they needed to “smell fresh”, now women are told that they need to “take care of their hoo-ha” (I shit you not, this was on a sign outside of a waxing salon in my old neighborhood in PDX) by having all the hair ripped out of it. And ask any gyno, it’s so completely unhealthy!!!!!
  • And of course, for all my sisters out there who are childless-not-by-choice (and our allies who have managed to not be dicks to us during our struggles), Will I Ever Get Over Not Having Children? talks about the process of grief and healing that is different for everyone in our shoes, and how only WE can truly empathize with others going through this. As the author said, “No one else ever understood the depth and breadth of my loss, my future, my identity as a woman, my place in society and amongst my peers.” And in reading the comments, many other sentiments rang true, particularly Heather’s note that “My biggest struggle is to try and keep from feeling out of place and unwanted.” To this day, I find it very difficult to reach out to people – new neighbors these days in particular – as I don’t want to be asked about if we have kids and I don’t want to hear about their families. Hell, I have found the latest pangs to the heart are grandparents, knowing that I, in my mid-40’s, now have people my age whose kids are close to having kids. Yep, I’m even getting jealous of the old folks next door who have grandkids visiting, because it seems like such a lost cause for us. (Yes we are still waiting to be selected by a birth mother 14 months after going down the domestic adoption rabbithole after the prior 2 years were spent waiting for our little girl from Ethiopia we never got to meet along with the 9 embryos that met their demise in my womb…we had our updated home study for our farmhouse here in Astoria yesterday but it really only gave us a dull ache and then we got back to our childless-not-by-choice life because anymore it seems like a pipe dream when over 100 women have viewed but not picked your profile book and people love to tell you for some reason about how they know someone (or they themselves) who got picked within days of signing up with an agency…because THAT makes me feel so much more worthwhile!).

So yeah, with that I need some damn inspiration! And of course, for me that comes with a big dose of Des’ree…breathe with me y’all and sing along….


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