It’s definitely a hot chocolate kind of day…and boy oh boy do I have some stuff to say…

Yeah, I got stuff on my mind, y’all…get ready.

  • Billy Graham was a homophobe, a sexist, an anti-Semite, and a fundamentalist religious prick who spoke down to those who dared not embrace his cultish take on spirituality. And now he’s dead. Good fucking riddance. Like HELL was he ‘America’s pastor’. Fuck that shit, that man never spoke for me.
  • Minnie Driver, on the other hand, is welcome in my house any day of the week. Watch this interview clip pulling out all the punches when it comes to not only harassment but mansplainers like Matt Damon who try to tell women how to feel and react and categorize abuse.
  • “The 1994 assault weapons ban was never intended to be a comprehensive fix for “gun violence” writ large. Its purpose, according to gun violence experts and the lawmakers who wrote the bill, was to reduce the frequency and lethality of mass shootings …And on that front, the data shows it had a significant impact.” The fact is, shootings in years the ban was in place (before that slimeball GW Bush rescinded it and so many other protective measures for our communities) decreased by HALF during that time. And now the Orange Prick not only wants to give guns to teachers (because it’s their job I guess now to be cops?) rather than have some balls and stand up to the NRA, he’s also done everything he can to DECREASE access to mental health care in our country. DO WE LOVE OUR GUNS MORE THAN OUR CHILDREN? Those who remain against gun control I can now unequivocally say – they do. And yes, I’m the stepdaughter of a former NRA chapter president who got a .22 for my 8th grade graduation.
  • I told my friend the other day that the only reason I wish it were easier to take selfies back in the day was to better remember some of the cool outfits I wore in the 80s and 90s. I suppose I could have done the creepy hold-my-camera-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror pose but, well, ew. My husband knows very well how irritated as fuck I get at the way the world has evolved into a “must take a selfie at every moment in life” and “must check my Facebook constantly” world rather than focusing on direct interaction. “Social media is bewitching because there’s time to lie, not like in real life. The opportunity for positive attention is enormous, but accuracy is the price. When you present a curated version of yourself to the world, any approval that you get is not for your full and whole self,” When I saw this in the Guardian (Look at me: why attention-seeking is the defining need of our time), I knew I was onto something. It’s why I can’t do Facebook, or Twitter. It’s why I have gotten to KNOW so many of my blog readers (even married one!) personally, outside of Blogland, no matter where they are on the planet (even did a series of EcoGrrl Interviews for an entire year back in 2013 to showcase the many people I’ve encountered over the years), because I want to TRULY know people, warts and all. It’s why I can’t stand blogs where writers shy away from showing who they really are…it’s boring to me. It’s why I adored reading This Body this morning by Cindy the Great out in Texas. It’s why when I was fighting the DEIVF fight I sent gifts to several warriors (all who are now mothers or about to be). It’s why I know my neighbors – not just their dog’s name, but actually who they are and where they hail from in life. Loneliness is epic in our culture where it’s encouraged you post to a group of people you already know rather than interact with them one-on-one. I think that’s why I adore blogging, because most of the people who I’ve gotten to know didn’t know me already – it’s expanded my group of friends rather than relegated communications to people I know to a site that is not there to bring people together but to track your personal data for marketing purposes – then makes excuses for allowing rapists and murderers and conspiracy theorists about school shootings to prosper on their websites.
  • Another positive outcome of the virtual miscarriage conversation is the fact that it gives women the chance to learn about the physical and psychological realities of miscarriage before they have one. Many women enter miscarriage unprepared…largely because doctors rarely discuss the circumstances of miscarriage until after they happen and because women rarely hear stories from their friends. For example, many are unaware that women can go into labor during a miscarriage, even early ones.” Believe it or not, this article I’m quoting from came from CNN this week, talking of not only the reality of miscarriage but the cost and where doctors are failing us as well. My RE *not once* discussed miscarriage with me, and when he told me as I laid there on the table that there was no heartbeat this time around, didn’t tell me a damn thing about what to expect. I had to do a WordPress blog search to find out what the experience would be like for me once I stuck the two Misoprostol suppositories inside of me. He didn’t tell me about the early stage labor pains I’d have for 12 hours or the fact that I’d be bleeding profusely for several weeks or offer any type of support besides that he was sorry and to let us know when we wanted to try Round 5 of DEIVF. I am thankful for Mum C for reaching out when my own mother chose her new boyfriend over me and I am thankful for my husband for holding me and for a friend who told me I was not alone, that she too had lost her baby. But I will never forget how the fertility clinic did…nothing.

So yeah, this song here? Maybe not the specific topic but the emotion that emanates from every word? Hell fucking yeah. Here’s to sharing EVERY feeling, no matter how raw…

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