That Crazy Barren Woman Buying Pool Noodles and Sewing Baby Wraps…

So a strange thing happens when a new burst of hope comes in…

With domestic adoption, you don’t know when this kiddo will arrive on the scene, but you do know that when a birth mother selects you, she’ll be in her third trimester…or the baby might even have just been born.

So knowing this, it means there’s really no guaranteed pseudo-gestation period – you’ve got to be READY. So how “ready” should that really be?

Well, it brought me to thinking for the first time in almost a year about preparing for a child to arrive in our house. Could be this summer, this winter, next year, we don’t know…but the odds are, for the first time, in our favor that we’ll be parents.

Being a world class listmaker, it could get dangerous, but at the same time, during our six rounds of DEIVF, I always felt better if I did something to prepare for a child than if I tried to ignore it all. And during that brief summer of pregnancy bliss before we lost our baby, nesting was something we embraced, in our own little minimalist, sustainable, DIY kinda way. Nothing big, just a little project here.

So with us now left to waiting, waiting, waiting, we’ve restarted the Pinterest-ing, and created a simple list of must-haves, with nearly all of them having DIY solutions:

  • A place to sleep (DIY): We have a king size bed. As there will be no breastfeeding (while there are ways to try to get your bosoms to make milk even if you’ve not been pregnant, to summarize what another blogger said who was adopting after a long battle with infertility, I have seen my body fail me enough already – I don’t want to put it through any more to potentially fail again), the pool noodle & a pillowcase combo between us is the ticket. The noodle? $1 at – you guessed it – the dollar store.
  • Diapers: Cloth of course. No way in hell would I buy something that stays in a landfill for 500 years. And while some people spend money on expensive cribs and toys and designer duds, as for us? We’re going the diaper service route.  For $70/month, it’s not only even more eco-friendly, it’s a mega-time saver. Literally put the diapers in the pail on the porch, and they pick it up once a week and leave a replacement supply. Excellent.
  • Wipes (DIY): Cut out squares of cotton and flannel – inspired by this post – but even simpler. Simply grabbed a few shirts out of our go-to-Goodwill donation bag we keep by the front door, including my husband’s red flannel shirt that had frayed too much around the collar to wear anymore, and cut them all into 6″ squares. When the times comes I’ll find an old container to put them in, but in the meantime we have at least 40 wipes cut out.  Bam.
  • Baby Wrap (DIY): There are a million DIYs on Pinterest for this to avoid buying the $50-100 “moby” style wraps, so I chose this design, which is made from a cotton jersey bedsheet. So yesterday we went to Goodwill and scored an entire jersey knit sheet SET for $9, with the top sheet taking care of this wrap, the pillowcase covering the co-sleeper pool noodle mentioned above.
  • Bottles (DIY): Glass? Check. Make them from half-pint canning jars already on our shelves, and just buy the nipple part?? Fuck yeah! I swear, anytime you wonder if something can be DIY’d, google it. There’s usually a way.
  • Burp Cloths (DIY): Cloth diapers. Bam.
  • Stroller: Used. Bam.
  • Carseat: If I’m lucky, a newer used model that fits our car. Bam Bam Bam!

Ultimately this stuff is the easy part. Having a few things on hand is the least of our concerns. We just can’t wait to meet the little one who’s going to change our lives forever, and take this new path, this new journey, and figure it out as we go along. I’m so grateful to the many people who have told me their own stories, either as an adoptive parent or as an adoptee, and we continue to read more and learn more as we prepare down this unknown road. Wheeeeeeee!

(For any of my infertility sistas who have praised me for moving forward, please know that my brain is still in giant clusterfuck mode. When you’re 43 and going through this, you know that time is of the essence and sometimes you’ve just got to get shit done…)

 

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  One thought on “That Crazy Barren Woman Buying Pool Noodles and Sewing Baby Wraps…

  1. June 3, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Good luck with your prep and I hope you get chosen soon!

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  2. June 4, 2017 at 8:17 am

    do you have a registry?

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    • June 4, 2017 at 8:38 am

      We closed ours when the miscarriage happened, but will reopen it when we get a birth mother match we’re thinking.

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      • June 4, 2017 at 9:01 am

        that makes sense! fingers crossed it happens in the next few months

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        • June 4, 2017 at 10:15 am

          Yeah I think the main thing on our registry is going to be contributions towards our diaper service, as few people end up buying the big-ticket items like strollers and car seats and there’s not that much more will have on there… šŸ™‚

          Like

  3. June 4, 2017 at 9:28 am

    Also I had nooooo idea you could use a pool noodle to make a co-sleeper. My friend registered for one those $200 Dock-a-tots, which I already thought was absurd as there are many less expensive alternatives, but I should really just share this pool noodle idea!

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    • June 4, 2017 at 10:14 am

      Yeah a friend of mine who had a baby a year or two ago had actually just used their curved changing pad to put between herself and her husband, which inspired me to look for DIY ideas. šŸ™‚

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  4. June 5, 2017 at 4:48 am

    Wow, babies sure do need a lot of stuff LOL. I, too, find that DOING something (anything, really) helps me pass time while waiting. You seem to be far more constructive than I would likely be. I’m the idiot who micro-organizes her handbag or junk drawer or craft stash. You’re actually preparing for the thing you’re waiting for šŸ˜Š

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    • June 5, 2017 at 7:06 am

      It’s funny though because you look at websites that claim to be “minimalist” and the list is five times as long (because you can’t possibly feed a baby without this special chair or pillow, or you can’t possibly bathe them without this special bathtub and God forbid they not have their own special bath robe with a hood…). The thing is because I have been waiting for so long (going through IVF and the Ethiopia adoption processes for over two years), there’s not a lot of things to do anymore to prepare. And considering during that time we remodeled our kitchen and our bathroom ourselves, I’m now walking around our house with a fine-tooth comb trying to think of more DIY stuff to do since we don’t have any money šŸ™‚ so I’ve got my husband sanding our deck out front. šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. June 5, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Like others mentioned on your other post, I also think you are amazing and strong how you are picking yourself up and going forward now with domestic adoption! I really hope you and Dan will be chosen sooner rather than later and that everything will go well. Also sorry to hear that your back has still been giving you trouble, I also hope that will improve soon. I love all your minimalist and environment friendly suggestions for preparing for the baby by the way!

    Liked by 2 people

    • June 5, 2017 at 7:08 am

      Thanks… My greatest fear is that this will fail as well since everything else has… That’s the one thing I learned with 6 rounds of donor egg IVF, miscarriage, and international adoption – nothing is guaranteed.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. survivingmiscarriagetogether
    June 5, 2017 at 8:03 am

    Good luck with your nesting xx

    Like

  7. Betty
    June 5, 2017 at 8:42 am

    I love this. I am one of those crazy people with the over prices nursery planned out. I’ve never bought a single thing to prep through all of my pregnancies because somehow with each one i (correctly) anticipated a loss, so sometimes I think that my overzealous mental and Pinterest planning is the results of years of not being able to do so. So I like this refreshing reminder that things can be done in a DIY and intelligent way. You’re re-inspiring me to consider cloth diapering, too. I am a knitter and knitted wool soakers is a big thing with cloth diapering so I’ve always thought about that.
    Also, will be vicariously following along your domestic adoption journey as it may be my path one day, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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