To My Best Friend…

You’re all that I can trust
Facing the darkest days
Everyone ran away
But we’re gonna stay here, we’re gonna stay here

This world has turned to dust
All we’ve got left is love
Might as well start with us
Singing a new song, something to build on

When it all falls, when it all falls down
I’ll be your fire when the lights go out
When there’s no one, no one else around
We’ll be two souls in a ghosttown

Around the time we found out we were facing the uphill battle of a lifetime at the start of 2015, Madonna’s gorgeous song Ghosttown was released. Listening to it still makes me tear up thinking about these past two and a half years where we thought well, the struggle will be hard, but we’ll eventually get pregnant right? Wrong. We thought our closest friends and family members who’d been through this would stick by us. Wrong. The world looks different now. The same but unfamiliar. We are rising out of the ashes, together, and like the shitstorm that is #45, we’re in a bit of a haze watching it all, but bound and determined to not let the fuckeduppedness of the world push our heads back under water again. The other morning I smiled at a little girl and made funny faces at her and I caught you, my husband, looking at me with such intense love that it made me, like you, all “clucky” as you call it. You, my husband, are my light and my love and my family and my truth in this world, and for your love I am grateful beyond words.


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