My last time being at 2dp5dt and I know that this means blastocyst(s) should be continuing to hatch and starting to attach itself/themselves to the lining of my uterus.
Twinges? Sure. But again, I’m chock full of hormones, so what-evah. Fortunately, my intestinal fortitude is strong after yesterday’s yuckiness (which I purely attribute to the shit-quality brunch we had that lasted about 20 minutes with my back and involved food that I know going down would be leaving faster than normal…sigh…so much for buffet breakfasts and sore backs, hahaha), and now I’m just taking every moment as it comes.
Since I’m taking the week off from my standard appointments, but still wanted to do something kind for myself, I thought, why not try out floatation therapy? Not only is it supposed to totally mellow you out, but it’s been said to be a fantastic way to address back pain, including herniated discs.Well, notsomuch. See that light in the picture? Very deceiving. Not relaxing and much brighter than the photos – and no way to turn it off (safely – it’s not within reach of the tank) if you want the true experience of sensory deprivation that floating is supposed to be about. Furthermore, the appointment required a hike up a steep staircase (causing a relaxed me to go into pain as they didn’t disclose stairs on their website), there were no bars in the tub to help you get in/out (creating a second issue for myself with this back injury as it’s not only very slippery but the epsom salts make it very hard to right yourself, and with a herniated disc it drove my anxiety sky high taking me 10 minutes to get in/out), and they also didn’t tell you before your appointment you should not shave your legs – meaning for the 20 minutes I allowed myself to float out of the 90 given, I was experiencing crazy, non-subsiding razor burn up and down both legs. Oh yeah, and even when I got everything loosened up and let go with all that, my upper back and shoulders were so sore that I had to leave before they led to a new injury. So yeah, it sucked. Seventy bucks of suck. Maybe if you are injury free it’s great, but I can’t recommend it.
But here is a beautiful bright spot – today, I felt JOY. On my way to the float place, I felt this amazing sense of pure joy and happiness that we will get our pregnancy and finally have this family we’ve dreamed of. I felt the same kind of joy I felt, but with more depth and belief, than I did after actually getting our positive last summer. Rather than psychoanalyze it, I just turned up the music and let the joy course through my veins. This song, turned up loud and singing along with a smile…
I let a huge smile spread across my face as I drove…I mean, if my mouth was bigger, it’d have been like a Julia Roberts kind of smile, y’all. It felt so incredible and indescribable in so many ways. It felt like…bliss.
So instead of pouting after the weird float experience? I did garden therapy. A trip to Garden Fever was in order and I headed straight there, wandering the new plants and picking out a new trailing rosemary and two more gorgeous lion’s tails, to replace the ones that died over our unusually cold winter. And my sweet husband texted me when he got to work…
Let’s look at Easter how it was meant to be…about new life…love you baby xxx
So that’s day two…one that is ultimately, about joy, about love, about new life springing forth in my body. Letting go of the negative and letting in all the new and positive and wonderful that life holds for us.