Nesting? Yes, Nesting.

Ready? Set? GO!

March is quite a month for us. We are nesting – in multiple ways – as we start on a first chapter and a final chapter in two different aspects of our life.

Our ducklings arrived yesterday and we practically flew to the post office to get them (awesome to have them come in on my husband’s day off by the way!). When we walked in to the PO, we could hear them cheep-cheep-cheeping in the back room, and the old lady behind the counter was glad to send them off!  They were in a very small box all things considered, probably 1’x1’x1′, and in great shape (see top right photo, and click here to read about getting chicks in the mail and how it works and why it’s safe). When we got home we followed the instructions and picked each one up and stuck their beaks in the water so they’d learn how to drink and, sure enough, no problemo.

In the bottom right photo you can see our makeshift brooder, basically a huge box which we lined with a folded up tarp to keep it dry then put a layer of straw, the same stuff that’s in their coop, for them. We learned immediately how hilarious they are with the water and immediately put a few rocks into it so they could access it without swimming in it (although they think it’s pretty awesome to walk on top of the rocks and then get the water from the middle of the dish), and also put a rock in their food bowl so they can’t just stand there in the feed and be obnoxious, heh. It’s pretty awesome to watch how they know immediately what to do as far as grab some food then grab some water, and back and forth. We also followed the suggestion in our favorite duck book, Duck Eggs Daily, about digging up a few wads of dirt/grass from the backyard and putting them in the brooder so they can get some exposure to eating bugs and also get their immune systems built up as they prepare for a life outdoors. They LOVE this!

Needless to say it’s been beyond entertaining to watch these girls. No, we haven’t named them all yet. Already we’re seeing personalities emerge slowly but surely:

  • The black one with the yellow front (Black Swedish) and is absolutely the most fearless of them all, not afraid to eat out of my hand from the first second we put her in the brooder.
  • The all-black one, the Cayuga, is fairly shy thus far but keeps an eye on me, tilting her head up and looking straight at me whenever I talk into the brooder.
  • The all brown one (Khaki Campbell) is the first one to take off running when you put your hand in the brooder to change out the water.
  • The more colorful brown/yellowish one (Welsh Harlequin) is starting to follow the lead of the first one and this morning when my husband had his hand out with some food on it not only ate out of it but started climbing up his arm! Definitely no worries about them getting up the ramp, haha…

So it’s been a fun weekend for us (our weekends are midweek based on my husband’s work schedule) getting used to these little babes on the dining room table. They are absolutely the funniest things to watch, not terribly noisy (yet) as their chirping/cheeping is pretty quiet, even at night, and watching them all bundled together to sleep is sooooo adorable. In a couple days we’ll let them try out their swim legs in a bigger dish of (warm) water and in a few weeks, assuming we get some nice sunny days (we’ve had a miserable February/March with record breaking rainfall, ugh!) will give them a bit of time to explore their run for a bit, check out their coop (and getting onto the ramp) and feeder/waterer, etc. By 6-7 weeks we’re told they should be able to move out to their coop full time and by 9 weeks they will be full grown – whoa!!!

One week left on The Pill

And as for our own nesting, we have just one week left of birth control pills ever ever EVER, then hopefully a smooth transition to the usual Delestrogen injections every 3 days before the daily PIO shots start 6 days pre-transfer thanks to the ERA recommendations. I’m already doing weekly acupuncture for my back and immune system, so more needles well come in to support a nice thick endometrial lining that will hopefully, finally give us the family we have been working for so hard for so damn long.

Thus far we are feeling pretty good, pretty chill, as we’ve been through this five times before, ya know? Nothing worth getting in a twist about and we’re both doing a lot of meditating, not only via apps on our phones and my husband over at the Zen Buddhist temple (that amazingly we happen to be just a few blocks from), but also the Fertility Meditations that are AWESOME (ladies – and gentlemen too – if you haven’t tried these I highly recommend – they’re not cheesy at all and cover a range of topics ranging from letting go to healing to acceptance and more, with some good mantras). These help so much in keeping the mind from going out of control with ‘what ifs’.

I’ve also made it a point to gaze at my Jizo statue in the garden with the necklace I put around it when we had our miscarriage, rather than think in the back of my mind how it’s there but not actually look at it, inadvertently pushing down the pain from our loss. I’ve also started adding photos to my Pinterest board that are uplifting again, rather than just more quotes about pregnancy loss, like these ones that just naturally bring a smile – and maybe even a bit of hope…

After all of this I’m so glad to be even more in love with my husband than when we started – this has brought us closer, made us stronger, and helped us realize even more what we’ve got as Two. My heart breaks when I see blogs where the woman is struggling to get her husband on board or dealing with a partner’s apathy or lack of affection (and not taking care of either of these issues before addressing infertility), or treating her husband like another child in the matter, not insisting on his full participation because he’s “afraid” or “too busy”, taking on the full IVF chores and taking the full time out of her calendar while he makes no sacrifices (and some even blog making fun of their wives’ hormone swings rather than showing any impact of the infertility on themselves), thereby continuing the “inferior husband / secondary parent” stereotype that is all too prevalent in our society — and what only furthers the massive gender inequality in our world. This shit is hard enough without a strong partnership based on full participation, equal contributions and a massive amount of respect that is so vital to bringing a new person into this world. Not saying it can’t be done, but IVF is the absolute most deliberate form of planned parenthood, you know?  It’s the one time we can truly go into this with a plan of what we want and who we want to be as parents.

My life with my partner is the greatest thing I could wish for, and now we just seek a bit of icing for our cake, you know? That’s what this is, the pursuit of Two Plus One.



4 thoughts on “Nesting? Yes, Nesting.

  1. The ducks made my heart so happy! Nice to have a partner that is excited and passionate about what you are passionate about. Also a partner that is on board to be a true 50/50 partner thorughout the whole baby making process.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you have such a great relationship with your husband 😍 It’s just so nice to see healthy relationships, especially with all of the venom being spewed throughout the election cycle and since the inauguration. This whole post is very hopeful, and filled with love. That’s a beautiful and powerful thing!


  3. Oh my goodness, how *great* are those ducklings?! You guys will definitely have so much fun with them.

    And how wonderful to hear that your marriage has been made stronger for the battle. No sense fighting through this alone. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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