Thank you for your cooperation.

Thank you, uterus, for finally cooperating and shedding your lining. It’s not often that I celebrate this type of event, but fina-fucking-ly, you have done your goddamn job… at least at this stage.

Yes boys and girls, tonight I finally start shots for the mock cycle which will lead to my biopsy to determine transfer timing.

I must say ( sarcastically of course) it couldn’t come at a better time, being of course meaning that one of my shots will be on Christmas Eve night…

Semi-serious question: how much does Maker’s Mark affect your uterine lining? Is it possible to have a hot toddy on Christmas Eve since it’s a mock cycle? Or should I simply STFU and get back into the IVF Spirit of things?

'Well, doc, I still have that pain in my back. . .'

On a positive note, my back is continuing to heal and without the help of a physical therapist. We went to the first one in the insurance company directory who happen to be on our side of town, and while we really liked her personality at first, she basically only had one regimen of exercises and zero options for us to try out if they happened to hurt while doing. After the first appointment I had let her know that the exercises were really difficult to do in a bed versus a PT table, since even a super firm mattress like ours gives much more ( all exercises were lying down), and at the second appointment she gave me a bunch of new exercises to try… once again all lying down with the advice to “take it easy” and not do anything that hurt.

The morning after that second appointment where we had practiced everything in the office, I could barely get out of bed I was in so much pain. Something was not right, and since she’d been so responsive in the past to emails, I sent her one telling her about this and that even attempting to do her new exercises was going to be impossible. Something that Dan and I had noticed was that all of her exercises were incredibly complex, requiring you to do about 12 things at once with your body while breathing a particular way. While I don’t mind a challenge, it’s hard to go home and replicate that and know that you’re doing the right thing for your body.

Question to physical therapists: if you are going to tell people to go home and do this on their bed, why not have an actual twin bed at your practice so that you are mimicking an actual patient environment at home? Genius, I tell ya…

And rather than getting a response, I got an auto-reply that her inbox is full, and a voicemail when I tried to call. So being particularly grumpy at that point in time, I had my husband leave her a voicemail, and at the very end of the day got a message from her saying there was nothing she could suggest beyond what she already had, no simpler exercises possible for me to do in the meantime before our next appointment (Really? Because the hospital had a ton of easy to do exercises that she had told me to “forget all about”… although I never understood why I should forget about simple exercises like breathing and walking…).

So we decided right then and there ย that we needed to get out before we got any deeper, as my intuition alarm was getting friggin’ loud. Since then, I’ve found an interesting, more holistic PT who (at least via our email conversations) seems like an awesome fit, but she – like most I called – is not available until the first of the year. Fortunately, just within a few emails I felt much more at ease with her approach and knew that my gut instinct about the first practitioner was spot-on. She completely disagreed with the exercises that were given to me and said there are definitely gentle things that I could do in the interim, and said that no exercises should ever hurt. Just like in yoga there are always ways to modify movement so you’re still doing good for your body while respecting its boundaries. I also like the fact that her focus is in European osteopathy and she has a ton of phenomenal reviews unlike the first one who didn’t have any type of review presence that I could find.

So anyhow I’m just focusing on staying active while respecting my need to rest, and doing modified versions of what I would best describe as ballet and other dance stretches. They make me feel good and they make me feel like I’m getting stronger even if it’s in tiny increments. While I still can’t lean over or sit for more than a couple of minutes without incredible discomfort, my legs are getting stronger and I can get out of bed and walk a couple of blocks before having to take a rest. I can squat to get down to lower things as long as I have something to help me get up. And I can even put my own socks and shoes on if I lay down on the bed and maneuver just right and very, very slowly. In winter, this is HUGE. ๐Ÿ™‚

Doesn’t seem all that exciting, I know, but when you spent the last two weeks leaving things dropped on the floor, from garbage that doesn’t fall into the can to dog food that misses the bowl when pouring it from 4 feet to clothing you try to toss with your toes into the hamper and miss, because you need to wait for your husband to get home to pick them up? You realize quickly how much you now value basic physical health where you took it for granted in the past.

So it’s time. Time to move forward to heal, to finish this chapter of DEIVF, to prepare for the end of the year and the start of 2017. It’s time for good things.



10 thoughts on “Thank you for your cooperation.

  1. Great news for the start of your mock cycle!!! Interesting Q about alcohol and the uterus…my initial gut reaction is I’m sure one or two hot toddies are OK. Then you got me intrigued and I googled alcohol and the uterus (because obvs google always has the answer) and there are definitely some interesting debates to be read about it. But like all questions on small amounts of alcohol and health the jury seems to be out.


  2. Glad you are getting some improvements with your back. I say go for the odd drink – it’s only a mock cycle and as you say in the longer run you’re not trying to produce eggs (that has been my excuse anyway!). I’m starting my drugs on Christmas day – joy – I plan to have a few drinks that day and then I’ll be curtailing things. My consultant said it was fine as long as I don’t go crazy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If it’s a mock cycle then DEFO drinks!! Bloody hell you’ve been through a lot so I think you deserve a drink at Christmas more than most. Have one for me while you’re at it. I love your explanation of the stupid exercises you were given. Absolutely there are more simple ones you can try and work up to the intense ones she gave you. She must be very inexperienced or ego-driven to not have any alternatives. Sounds like you’re doing pretty great without her anyway. And bravo on the socks! That would drive me nuts too! xx


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