It’s 56 Degrees…and I’m in a Tank Top
Nothing like the progesterone-induced hot flashes. Silly me, thinking I might get away this cycle without them! Opening the window at our breakfast table to let the breeze in as I was just emanating heat (and not in a sexy way), I realized that it wasn’t the humidity.
Everywhere I walk I think, are you two in there? I can feel the presence constantly in my belly, like we’re watching Final Jeopardy and these two embryos (NOT ’embabies’, yuck that term gives me the heebie jeebies!) are making their wagers…and we’re just sitting here in the audience with our thumbs up our butts, waiting for Trebek to tell us if we’ve got a winner. (not “embabies”, not “totsicles”, not “pupo”…yech! y’all know how I feel about overly cutesy terms). Or, in another game show reference, this time by new mum Baby Science Project, in reference to IVF, “You put your mental health and happiness on the line every time you have another spin on the wheel of fortune.”
My emotions of course are similar to the hot flashes. I saw Annie Leibowitz and Gloria Steinem in the New York Times and I immediately teared up as if they were standing at my front door. I’m sitting here with Pandora in the background (gotta love the free stuff that comes with having a SmartTV!) and Jack Johnson’s Banana Pancakes comes on, and I get that sappy smile and want to cry again. Excellent, Aimee, just excellent.
All I can do is assume this is going to work. Nothing else helps.
I’m drinking Pregnancy Tea (psst..it doesn’t taste like shit) as proof positive that I want this to work. I’m avoiding cold foods and I’ve got warm socks on. I’m thinking about how a positive test would mean that our due date would be June 23rd, just after the Summer Solstice and before the mega heat of summer.
I’m also living my life. Working hard on my business, enjoying the fruits of our labor and seeing client work picking up to finally look like I’ll match last year’s success, which has been a relief after a pretty slow summer (which, ironically, is when I needed the break). Putting way more money into retirement last year, as it was almost nonexistent in 2015 when we spent a combined total of over $35K on fertility treatments and adoption fees. I’m trying not to think about the fact that no matter how much money you pour into something and no matter how many sacrifices, sometimes the road to kiddos does not match up with what you’d always assumed.
Looking at it from a big picture perspective, I must say I’m happy in my life overall. Happy to have a wonderful partner in my sweet husband, a home that I love and have worked on prettying up for over 10 years, a dog that cracks me up every day, a job that makes me feel like I’m helping others, and live in a state that is progressive and – while not perfect – so beautiful that there’s nowhere else I can ever imagine hanging my hat.
No. More. Intramuscular. Injections!!!!
I gotta say today was really a weird and awesome new point in this cycle. For the first time, I am not having any injections, having transitioned to Estradiol pills 3X a day and, as of this morning. Progesterone supps 4X a day. The Estradiol hasn’t caused any weird side effects this time around which is nice, and while the Progesterone is a wee bit messy, I have so many of what seem to be perma-lumps on my arse from 5 rounds of DEIVF that we were already finding it hard to do the shots pain-free like we had in past cycles. The lumps seem to have all joined together into one ginormous knot, y’all, it’s not cute. So yes, fuck yes, I will do the pessaries. While my doc said that PIO shots were the “gold standard” and wanted me to do them up through transfer day, he had no problem with me transitioning to the supps post-transfer, and from every study I’ve read, the supps are equally effective to the shots (it’s the oral pills and patches that are sometimes less effective it appears).
Anyhoo. This morning my husband was up at 6 – and I was not. I barely remember him leaving the house for work I was in such a happy sleep trance from not having to get up. Although sleep is all over the place. Last night I literally dreamt about our kitchen cabinet DIY for 8 hours straight. I remember waking my husband up to tell him about what we needed to make sure to do when we built them so that the “critters” wouldn’t get in the walls – heh. (I suppose that’s from having seen one too many mice over the past week enjoying the contents of our compost bin? Who the hell knows).
Nothing like DIY to distract during the 8DW
So yeah, this is our kitchen this week (bottom picture, duh). No upper cabinets! It feels friggin’ HUGE!!!! Now of course all of our dishes are piled up in the dining room and canning & bulk jars are either jammed in the hallway pantry on in the bedroom closet, but hey it’s kinda rad.
Tonight we’re going over to Salvage Works near our house to get a whole bunch of reclaimed 2×4’s so that my hubby can start sanding and staining them for the new cabinets (using the plans provided by the website Homemade Modern, except staining them instead of painting them white, as we want to preserve the look of the natural wood). Once that’s done will build the butcher block style counter tops inspired by the picture above, also made from reclaimed wood. Most folks know that we love to DIY with salvaged wood and it’s so darn cheap relative to other ways of building cabinets so we’re really excited!
But in the meantime lots of cleanup to do so while we’re at the beach our contractor is going to be in fixing up all the walls that have been damaged from pulling out the cabinets. I always thought a kitchen remodel would be horribly expensive and this is not even close! I will do a separate before and after blood when it’s all done to talk about that.
So there we go, distractions galore as we wait to know if what was put in my belly is going to stay in my belly. I think we’re due some good news, don’t you?