Entry #52: Two Plus One

Hoping this time they’ve picked a winner!

The Wait Begins

Well, the transfer has come and gone and now we wait, which as my fellow IVF’ers can attest to, is going to be interesting.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, this time around I’ve basically just gone about my normal life, and even though the side effects of the meds have made me feel at times quite crazy and achy, when you’re at DEIVF #3, you aren’t filled with the wide-eyed confidence you were the first, or even second, time around.

So…over this third cycle, I gave up any commitment to special nutrition and exercise regimens, and even when it wasn’t what was recommended or necessarily healthy, this time I just did what I needed to do to get me through each day. Sometimes it involved eating healthy, sometimes it involved quite moments with Ruby Jewel ice cream sandwiches. And yes, sometimes it involved wine or a cocktail. Sometimes it involved the elliptical, sometimes a trip around the neighborhood on my bike, and sometimes it involved a day on the sofa with my laptop getting work done (and yeah, even watching The Chew a couple times).

What did stay the same? Weekly acupuncture. Fertility Massage. This blog that has sustained me in so many ways over the years. And sharing everything with my husband, even when I was at my darkest moments. This man is what family’s all about, y’all. This man is what’s inspired me to keep going through three cycles.

Caucasian Woman Practicing Yoga At Seashore
(image source)

Transfer Day Chill

My priority for transfer day was to stay as chill as possible. With a well-above-normal 75 degree day in the forecast, it was nice to wake up to blue skies on a day where I sure needed sunshine.

We woke up, snuggled as we always do until I can’t stay reclined (the earlier it gets light out, the more I go back to farmer hours!), checked out our garden as we always do, and then headed out to Southeast Portland to try a new place for breakfast I’d been eyeing, Trinket. Ohhhh my… it was so good! I had the savory waffle with onion, bacon, goat cheese and thyme, and a cup o’ tea, while my hubby had the sausage hash with eggs and coffee. Luscious. My husband’s days off are back to weekdays which I much prefer so we can go out to eat on “weekends” that don’t include crowded restaurants and cafes!

As we’d brought the dog along (obviously not into the restaurant), we then took a walk around nearby Laurelhurst Park before heading over to Portland Nursery to scope out the latest goodies to consider adding to our garden. We have a lot already, but after last fall’s redesign, going from double-digit raised beds to just four large ones (I wanted to capture more of a potager look/feel, and lesson the uniformity of before), there are still a few empty spots to fill in. Trailing rosemary, hyssop, Provence lavender, and a boysenberry vine? Yes please πŸ™‚

This is when my water drinking began as well as 200 mg ibuprofen (for non-IVF’ers, you have to drink a ton of water before the transfer as a fairly full bladder allows the doc to get a better look at your uterus when popping the embryo in there with the catheter), so…chug chug chug!

Being a gorgeous day, we headed home to get everything in the ground, and while we were at it, finally decided where we’re going to place our new Flow beehive (separate post to follow!). Grabbed some lunch across the street at the cafe, and by then it was time to go in for pre-transfer acupuncture.

SO glad I did not use the in-house acupuncturist this time around and went to my ND who’s always treated me! Felt SO much more relaxed this time, even with the fact that we had a 40 minute drive through rush hour to get downtown in time for my 4pm transfer. Of course as the acu ended that’s also when I got to pop my Valium (mind) and Vicodin (body), which made the drive even more relaxed (yay husband!)…

Our transfer didn’t actually happen until almost 4:30, so I was trying to zone out amongst the fluorescents in the interim. Our clinic does transfers every other month during a 2 week time period, so you know anyone you see in the waiting room is having the same thing done. When the lady before me walked out, we chatted briefly and it was her first time, and she mentioned how she didn’t drink enough water which is why hers took longer as she had to, ahem, fill it up! Well considering I was doing the potty dance, I knew I wouldn’t be in a similar boat πŸ™‚


So, um, yeah, on that note…

Ladies, did you know you could drink too MUCH water pre-transfer? And if that happens you don’t get to go to the restroom to “let a little out” – they remove the amount of pee themselves.

Yes, with a catheter.

Well I suppose it was an improvement from last summer’s IUI with the doc where I dropped the f-bomb multiple times in the general direction of my RE….but the overall scream that came out when that catheter went in? Let me tell you, it’s better to under-do it than OVER-do it. Never again, y’all.

My favorite was probably when I said aha, this is why men don’t like it and the doc said “well I think it’s probably a bit worse for men” and I gave him The Eye and said “not today it ain’t!” Seriously, don’t talk to me – with a speculum and manual dilation tool and a catheter in my urethra and my legs splayed – and say that men have it worse! Catheters are equal opportunity evil fucking implements, I gotta say.

Of course after that happened the actual dilation and transfer was a breeze, felt nothing at all, just squinted to try to figure out what was what on the ultrasound machine and…nope, haven’t a clue what it looked like. The embryologist came out with the photo (at the top of this post) of this latest embryo we’re hoping turns intoΒ  a real live human, and after 20 minutes of R&R on the table, we were allowed to go.

Well, that is, after I got my arse to the dunny. Always makes me feel like a female version of Austin Powers after he gets unfrozen…oy!

Headed back to my ND which, in rush hour, took another hour. Bless her for staying open for my arrival. Bless her for letting me text her and having her standing there with my table ready and door wide open when we arrived. And most of all, bless that opportunity to pass out right on the table and really exhale.

So we went home and collapsed, right?

Um, nope.

You see, tonight was our first scheduled Portland Urban Beekeepers monthly meeting and we had to get some learning in AND pick up our swarm trap from a local beekeeper, as time is running out on getting everything set up. Luckily it wasn’t a big deal – just some good talks and then we came home and…

ate pasta!

(image source)

Nice end for a wild day. Now just cross all your fingers and toes that this li’l thing in me will find a place to implant for 9 months, K?

And in the meantime? We’ll just keep on doing our thing. Living life as it’s always been lived, and by next Thursday evening, we’ll know if any more hope has been sent our way or what.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all….
~Emily Dickinson, c.1861



10 thoughts on “Entry #52: Two Plus One

  1. Oh I really hope this works for you, wishing you so much luck!
    Your day sounded pretty blissful, all things considered… On my 3rd FET I had drunk too much water but luckily there was no catheter trick for me, just plain old fashioned go to the loo and only let a little out, ha ha!
    Anyway I hope you can keep relaxed and positive over the coming two weeks.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have read your blogs about fertility and always wanted to comment but wanting to put the right thing! I wish you all the luck in the world and I cross my fingers or legs whichever we’d hope for better results from for you to get a positive outcome! I empathise with your journey, fortunately I haven’t suffered with fertility issues I could always get pregnant I lost three boys (Louis Corey and Elliot) late on in pregnanch so when I empathise I mean it from I understand the desires, the need, the determination and the craving for family, for a baby when the path you’ve been sent to walk along has been bleak! Keep positive and I will keep you in my thoughts xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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