The 10 Day Wait Begins
Well, the embryo transfer went successfully yesterday, with the best-of-the-best from our stash of a dozen frozen blastocysts now in me. On next Thursday morning, I’ll go in to get my blood drawn and by afternoon have the results to know if it’s looking good or if it was a bust. If it’s looking good, I’ll go in a few days later to see if it’s looking great, and that would mean the magic happened.
For some reason I feel a much greater sense of calm this time. Not that I won’t completely devolve into a pile of tears if it fails, but at least for right now it’s not frenetic, ya know?
A few things that helped this time around:
- If you are like me and have to pee all the time anyhow, don’t feel like you have to drink gallons and gallons of water. I had four glasses of water and I was uncomfortable but not in Pee Emergency Mode, and my bladder was plenty full for the procedure. The first time around, I’d been downing water like I was a contestant in a hot dog eating contest and I nearly had an accident in the furniture store we were at that morning. This time I just basically doubled my normal water for the morning and I was good.
- My husband has expressed his concern that he’s not supportive enough, because he’s not the one going through it like I am. And while I think he’s been amazing, as the guy puts 1 1/2″ needles full of hormones in my ass every single morning, I do get what he’s saying. Yesterday morning he visited our naturopath (who does acupuncture at the end of every session, how great is that!) who’s been a great help to us, and she was able to empathize with him, as her wife had all of their kids (she has PCOS). There’s a natural helplessness that comes for the other partner, so what we did this time is at the fertility clinic, he sat in and meditated while I had my pre- and post-transfer acupuncture needles, really keeping us going through every step TOGETHER during the whole thing.
- During the transfer, I really really REALLY focused on relaxing my arms and legs. It’s not exactly the calming
- And finally, my husband drove a different route home after the transfer. Seems minor but as a fairly new driver here in the US, he still gets a bit nervous getting out of downtown, so I suggested a bit longer but less crazy-traffic-laden route to get home so I didn’t turn into backseat driver. And hey, I wanted to enjoy the chill-out effect of the “stoner meds” 🙂
Anything I’d have done differently? Honestly, it was really just the acupuncturist the clinic uses that was the only grumble I had. Her bedside manner this time around was a bit awkward, and even though she told my husband to let her know if I needed anything, 20 minutes into it she opens the door of our almost-totally-dark room, letting in all the fluorescent lights to interrupt me and see how I was doing…totally shaking me out of my deep breathing and meditation. Dude! Leave a gal alone! Then when she was putting the needles in she kept asking me on each one if I felt them, and that I should feel an ache with each one. Maybe that’s how some folks do it, but I’m not looking for dull aches with my needles. The initial pinprick is fine but the four she put in my ears made me cry out – and she never once said “this might hurt, this is what this is for”. Then at the end of the pre-transfer session, she just flips the light on when it’s like hey, lady, offer me some sunglasses or something as the brightness is a real shock when you’re there to get zoned out pre-transfer. And the post-transfer one is done right in the same chair I had the transfer in, which has those arms that don’t fold down. So there was literally nowhere to rest my arms – and her suggestion was to cram them against my sides between myself and the armrest, basically putting me into a tense shrug for 20 minutes. Niiiiice. I should have remembered this last part from the first time, but hey, when you’re on Valium and Vicodin you’re not really sussing out your environment very well. If there is a next time (hopefully there’s not), I will write this down and ask the doc ahead of time if there’s something we can put next to me to rest my arms on.
There, I got that vent out! But seriously y’all, I’m still pretty chill.
Celebrating the Step
One of my resolutions for this cycle was to reach out more to my friends and ask for their time and support, so I invited my closest friend M over for dinner a few hours post-transfer, and we ate well, caught up on our busy lives, laughed, and relaxed. Dan & I made bowtie pasta with smoked pancetta, chili, tomatoes and cream sauce, she brought over an amazing salad along with a scrumptious roasted cauliflower side dish. She and I have been friends since 2009 and like the sister I never had (and I have four half-sisters, y’all). She’s also stood by me through thick and thin, supported me and Dan since the early days, is the best person ever to drink wine with – and I fucking love her for that and so much more.
Monday I have breakfast with a friend before my client work for the day begins, and I have two more lunches next week squeezed in…yay for girfriends!
Bringin’ Back the Barf
And back to the meds. Oh yay – nausea pills, woo hoo!!! Pay full price for the IM shots of Delestrogen that are injected every three days, or take insurance-covered Estradiol pills 2X a day that cause me huge waves of nausea each day? Well, the wallet wins, folks. So I’m going to woman up and deal with it. But hey, if the transfer works this time then I’ll be a pro at dealing with this eh?
PS – I love that a primary side effect for Estradiol is “freckles”.
And a final surprise
As I was writing this the mailman dropped off a package from a colleague of mine which turned out to be the book The Rainbabies, a folk tale about a childless couple. It was so so so so perfect – not only for our adoption journey but also because there are 12 rainbabies in it – the same number of frozen embryos we have.
It’s easy to forget how blessed we are sometimes.
If you have lived, take thankfully the past.