Welcome Back, Side Effects! (NOT!)
Well here we are now, finishing up the first week of Delestrogen intramuscular injections – aka, booty shots (don’t google that term though, let me tell you there weren’t any funny cartoon gals with their IVF meds, it was all porno-bum). And like clockwork, the nausea is back with a vengeance, with a dash of emotional upheaval to go with it. There is so much irony in infertility treatments – first you get on birth control, then you curse the heavens until you get your period, then you get what are usually known as pregnancy symptoms. Thanks, in-vitro, you rock!!
Almost as bad (or worse? depends on the day), despite my wholehearted mission to keep drinking wine, with a common side effect being yeast infection (not just the antibiotics they had me on the first round it turns out, the del has it listed too – no WONDER that first cycle was such a bitch!!), anything remotely related to sugar is off the table and that includes alcohol. FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Seriously, now is when I crave a glass of wine the most, but anyone who’s had a YI knows, that glass just ain’t worth it. So my first birthday (#42 is coming up Sunday) in decades will be one that doesn’t involve a lovely glass of red. Son of a gunderson!
That Lab Rat Feeling
You know how hormones seem to heighten everything? Well this is definitely the truth. This being my 4th round of infertility treatments in the past year and the 2nd in IVF-land, I’m sure all my IVF blog buddies out there can empathize that “lab rat feeling”… comparing and contrasting symptoms, testing which foods help and which foods lead you to grumbling the Itchy-and-Scratchy show theme song, wondering if your emotions are just normal anxiety or enhanced by hormones. All the while wondering, what will I do if this doesn’t work yet again…
But someone explain to me how they list “enlarged breasts” as a Severe symptom, while “feel like throwing up” and “yeast infection” or “altered interest in sexual intercourse” as Less Severe symptoms??? I’ll gladly take the temporary bosom enlargement over the latter three – not like bustiness is actually been something I’ve been able to experience, well, ever!! (I never get the good side effects, wahhhhh!).
And the Bonus of It All!
We already paid the $18,000 last year for the first round of donor egg IVF (for those who aren’t aware, the average amount that goes to the donor is $5,000, hence why the higher cost than “regular” IVF which I’m not eligible for since my ovaries now give me the middle finger), which includes a year’s subscription to the freezer for the good embryos. As a recap from the first round, out of the 20 or so good eggs, we got a baker’s dozen of varying quality that made it to blastocyst stage, an amazing amount really, so now after the 1st failed attempt, have a dozen left for the doc to choose from…at $2,000 a pop for every extra effort.
Turns out he froze four singles and the other eight he froze in doubles even though I said there’s no way in hell we’re transferring two (the thought of the potential of twins while in the middle of an Ethiopia adoption is enough to get out the smelling salts, y’all). Do I know why? No. But no sense in overanalyzing, as all we can do is hope that it works.
And Did I Mention our FET is scheduled for Groundhog Day?
I suppose that’s the icing eh, thinking about waking up on the same day over and over and over and over again? Trying repeatedly and ultimately waking up in the same place you were the day before, then ultimately you learn what you need to learn and the page finally turns to a new day? Let’s just hope the broken record stops and our happy ending comes sooner for us than it did for Phil 🙂
So at this point, all I can say is this: I’m glad to have my husband by my side no matter what happens. Everything else is out of my hands, but that is one thing I can be sure of.
“Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I’m happy now… because I love you.”
~ Phil, Groundhog Day