It’s been 35 days since my last period. Therefore, as of yesterday, I’ve run out of time and missed out on the December transfer window at my clinic, and now have to wait until February. Thank you, reproductive system. It’s another feeling of defeat that I cannot possibly articulate to those who haven’t been through this.
The Long Wait for an Adoption Referral has Begun
I drove our notarized Ethiopia dossier packet down to Salem to get the apostiles (formal authentication of our paperwork required for these types of international documents), returned them to our adoption agency, and now they are off to Ethiopia. So the (very, very, VERY) long wait has begun. We are hoping for a miracle and to get our referral in 2016 but there are a lot of folks like us waiting for a kiddo, so our focus now has to be on other things. Otherwise, we’ll go nuts.
(As an overview of the upcoming steps in the process, Ethiopia will review our dossier, and once that’s approved, they’ll then refer a child to us. It’s basically like matchmaking – there’s no “list” or “catalog”, rather we simply find out about a little girl between 3 months and 4 years of age – our requested range – and say “yes”. Once we say yes, we can start the official paperwork to adopt her via the PAIR process which does additional checking to ensure she indeed is a legitimate orphan available for adoption. THEN, and only then, court dates are established and we can plan travel to Addis Ababa. This whole process can take up to 2 years. See why we started this at the same time we started infertility treatments?!)
As we get closer and closer to the end of 2015, we remind ourselves of the above as we look to the future. We know who will show up for us. We know who we’re not sure about. And we learned who’s no longer worth waiting around for through their consistent inaction and/or unreliability. We are moving forward.
And Finally, Expressing Our Gratitude
With the year we’ve had, one might think about how difficult it’s been (which it has). But I am so grateful for what I’ve learned, about myself, about those around me, about the world I live in. I’ve found an even greater closeness with my husband, and with him, I exhale. No matter where we are at this time next year, we have each other and I couldn’t be more grateful. In him I have found family.
In one month, we’ll share our third Christmas together.
In two months, I will turn 42 with him by my side.
In three months, it will be five years since we met.
So yes, in spite of all the challenges we’ve faced, at the end of the day, I fall asleep next to the best partner, and with that?
I’ve got it pretty good.