Tuesday Go Ponder: Radical Self-Acceptance (and Radical Self-Love)

(image source)
(image source)

I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
Come on now, make it stop

No matter how much it’s played, you gotta admit All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor is catchy and terribly danceable. And along with that inability to get it out of your head, she’s bringing awesome lyrics for girls and women alike, not just embracing positive self image for women with curves (like moi!) but also this bit for the naturally skinny gals:

I know you think you’re fat,
But I’m here to tell you that,
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

I’m 41 and I’m still battling what I see in the mirror versus what my husband sees and tells me every day. He tells me how beautiful my body is and means it. He walks in the door after work and finds a new way to tell me how much he loves me every day. And most importantly, he shows me in his actions what kind of a partner he is. As we are now working on that wonderfully fun stage of trying to create a baby (tee hee hee), I’ve had to think about how my body will change when I get pregnant, and how you just have to throw the scale numbers out the window when that happens and purely embrace good HEALTH, for yourself and for the little one.

So I have let go the memories of times long ago that got under my skin so deeply I had started to believe them – where the top compliment I got from my mother was when she told me I was “looking slim and trim” (instead of even once telling me she was proud of who I was as a woman) and where the person I was married to the first time would reminisce out loud on how thin I was when we first met (mind you I was a teenager, fresh off the dance team) and complaining to a friend after a fight that he hated his “fat wife” (mind you I was a size 12, as if that matters). While I let those toxic personalities out of my life long ago, their words remained for far too long and I have released those negativities from my reality. There are sparks from the past, but when I hurt my back again this weekend, I was reminded of how much more important the ability of my body to do what I want it to do is compared to how it stacks up in the media or to those who judge.

How beautiful my life is now where I feel good about who I am and what I’ve achieved and how I present myself to the world!

So here goes.

I’ll say this, out loud, in writing, in all of who I am, where I’ve been and what’s to come:

I love myself.  All of myself.
I love this body that keeps me alive.
I love my heart and mind and soul that this body houses.
I love the history and the present and the future of this beautiful body.

And that is what matters. Say it to yourself. Look in the mirror and say this to yourself – then say this to your friends, your family, and dare them not to believe you.


One thought on “Tuesday Go Ponder: Radical Self-Acceptance (and Radical Self-Love)

  1. I still struggle with my self-image and much of it comes from my pre-teen years. When the image in the mirror didn’t fit what I thought I should look like I took to starving myself. The summer I was 12 I basically quit eating and lost a lot of weight, dangerous amount. Yet when I returned to school in the fall all of a sudden I had attention from everyone on how good I looked. At five foot five and weighing only 102 pounds I should have been told I looked bad, but that wasn’t what I was hearing. People who never spoke to me before wanted to befriend me. And that was the beginning of more than a decade of ill-health and dangerous eating habits that I still fight to overcome. My body has paid for those years too.

    I’m glad you have come to accept who you are and can see now how wrong your mother was to focus on your weight instead of your accomplishments and your heart.


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