you know i never needed a lot. i watch you watch the bees anchoring themselves into those sunflowers and am reminded of the way i would pick the smaller, scandalous blooms from the ground…don’t blow, they’ll spread the weeds everywhere, they’d tell us, yet we’d still make wishes and dream about having a horse someday and a big house where we’d sit outside all day and drink lemonade…but honestly you know i just loved to lay out on the grass with you, under the australian stars, laughing as you pointed out constellations under the darkness and light of the southern hemisphere…i held my breath last night and tore off another layer of skin, exposed and raw and with heartwrenching aching beautiful daring love. standing there holding my hands over my eyes as i gave myself to you, asked myself the hardest questions, admitted what had been truly burning inside of me. it was a simple question, and you gave me truth. you squeezed my hand back, and showed me the way. this morning i woke up and began to heal from days torn asunder. this morning i felt your heart beat as i put my hand on your chest, and put my worries at ease. you know maybe i do need some things, and maybe that’s okay. i think and i thank and i breathe in more and breathe out more and walk, easily, alongside you. it’s not the house or the flowers or the sun or the rain or even the way the birds caw at each other from my rooftop. it’s the way i’m learning to live this life, to trust more, to venture further, to allow for everything, for love and truth and yes, while you talk in your sleep i will always, always have your hand.
Love is not consolation. It is light.