Today an article was shared with me by a friend and it connected so well with what I’m going through mentally. It’s about minimizing your possessions and keeping just what you need in your life. (favorite quotes at the bottom of this post). When I got home from the UK, all I could think of was how much Meaningless Stuff there was that I could get rid of. My Things didn’t have the same value, because all I needed when I was on holiday were a few basics and good people around me.
I’ve moved a lot in my life, and I’ve lived in my current house – my first home – for 4 1/2 years now. It has meaning because I did it all on my own. Because I proved to myself that I didn’t need my ex-husband to have a home and to create a sanctuary. Yet even with three bedrooms and fifteen hundred feet of space, I find that I really don’t need it all. Hell, I rent out one of the rooms and the other one sits with boxes that I packed over the holidays, ready to be put out in the spring for yard sale. I went to the UK with a carry-on, and still didn’t get through all the clothes I’d packed and wore the same pair of boots 90% of the time. I’m a simple girl – the only thing I want is a little place to grow things, a little space to cook things, and a sweetheart who loves me and who I know I can start a family with someday.
It’s still just me here in this bungalow. I’ve loved, lost, and left during these years. And now I just want to be where love is. If it’s here, great. If it’s across the deep blue sea, fantastic. I have lived in many places and know one truth: home is where the heart is. Shit, I know, that’s a cheesy line – but it’s so unbelievably true. I’m a nester, and can create sanctuary wherever I go. And yes, I admit, I’ve already at this early stage pictured myself an Expat Grrl with a little backyard garden of potatoes and tomatoes and basil and maybe a teensy little greenhouse so I can make bell peppers magically appear.
For much of my life I’ve felt like a gypsy. Packed my stuff up in the back of a truck, headed cross country, looking for that something. Lived in a number of states, married and continued moving, divorced and landed back where I started. But all I ever wanted was that sanctuary – that place where I could breathe, establish roots, have a family. I suppose I never felt home anywhere because I never had family where I always felt home with. It was there for a while when I was married, but never stayed stable because he wasn’t stable. I admit it, I was always looking for someone to just say, You are Family, You are Home, You are Safe. Perhaps that’s the only answer I’ve not heard.
So I continue to wander, to sit still, to create, to stare out into space, to write til somehow the answer shows itself. Of course, it’d be nice to just hear it spoken. Asking too much? I don’t know. That’s always been a conundrum – some tell me I’m too intense, some say I’m not asking loudly enough. Am I shirking or am I abundant? Fuck all I give up. I’m just going to continue to be me, to do what feels right, to let every piece of me spill over the edges and let the chips fall where they may.
And anyhow, the snowdrops are getting ready to blossom…which means, spring is coming…
Getting rid of something isn’t just saying no, it’s saying yes to what you’re gaining — more space, more visual clarity, and less to dust. Having less stuff means you have more of value. When you have fewer items, you can live in a smaller space. Living this way isn’t about having nothing. It’s about everything in your life having value. It’s looking at all your belongings and knowing that you’ve given that thing permission to be there, that the item is truly adding value and beauty to your life.