middle of the night clarity

I would like to steal your angst, Aquarius. I fantasize about sneaking into your room tonight, plucking your nightmares right out of the heavy air, and spiriting them away. I imagine sidling up to you on a crowded street and pickpocketing your bitterness and frustration — maybe even pilfering your doubts, too. I wouldn’t keep any of these ill-gotten goods for myself, of course. I wouldn’t try to profit from them in any way. Instead, I would donate them to the yawning abyss, offer them up to the stormy ocean, or feed them to a bonfire on a primal beach. P.S. Even though I can’t personally accomplish these things, there is now a force loose in your life that can. Are you willing to be robbed of things you don’t need? 

i love the way these words come to me, the aquarius, at the exact time i need to hear them.  i’ve been unnecessarily worrying myself, as is common for me during the month of december as i watch the year end and prepare for the new one.  i love how it brings me just up to the precipice of solstice, where i will eat and drink with a few of my close friends as a way to welcome the return of the sun, be grateful for my friends, and the experiences that have brought me where i am today.

i am going to let go of my bitterness and frustration about not having exactly what i want the moment i want it, and toss that into the fire as prescribed, understanding that everything comes in the time it needs to come in.

what is it i don’t need?
—-self doubt.
——–people who resemble my dna wayyyy too much (i.e., toxicity).
–this tubby layer over me that causes me to hate most photographs with my face in it…

and i don’t need this stinkin’ stuffed up head and watery eyes that have me sneezy and sniffly tonight!  it is the middle of the night and i’ve finished making most of the truffles for holiday shipments, sipping an eggnog with a shot of whiskey.  i can’t seem to get warm, and crave a long lazy sunday, padding around the house, without a care in the world.

it will be here soon, as i let that force in my life loose and allow myself to be guided down the road that is still being created.


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