there is everything in my mind to a point where i wonder when i will breathe again.  it’s an exciting time with risk around every corner, but one where i am going to be pushing myself to open up, to get closer to everything that gives me bliss..

i got in. the show i had been hoping for – i got in.  two solid days of bittersweet at the convention center for crafty wonderland – 200 local artisans in the prime of the holiday season. which means a LOAD of work, prep time, and initial investment.  then, as soon as i felt my blood pressure rise and my worries start to collect, one of my amazing friends volunteered to pay the expensive table fee.  i nearly wept.

there is still so much more.  buy more chocolate.  packaging.  marketing.  merchandising.  money i don’t have with my recent cliff dive.  it’s ironic that the minute my world changed that it became even busier.  even crazier.  even more of a test. but i have to embrace it, breathe deeper than i’ve ever breathed before.

but i admit.  i’m blurry.  and i couldn’t be happier to have a getaway planned to be with someone who makes me feel like he’s right beside me every time i hear from him.  i can write these words and not be afraid of my self exposed, vulnerable.  a friend told me tonight she was glad to see me go, that it was proof positive that i no longer had any rules about what my life might look like.

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” 
– Joseph Campbell

  One thought on “everything

  1. October 25, 2010 at 7:19 am

    I see you brave.

    I hope to learn from you.



  2. October 25, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Sometimes, I feel so STUCK lately…it helps to read your posts and hear about your journey. Makes me hope that there is something around the corner – just have to get through the stagnant times!


  3. October 25, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Great post. All sorts of awesomesauce in there 🙂


  4. October 25, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    Yay!! im so glad you get to go the show!!


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