Magpie 36

You know Magpie, you kill me with your photos.  How did you know that the theme of my day is all that crap about one door closing and a window opening?

I’ve been waiting to fly out that window for a while.  At my last, I said “this will be my last”.  I’m an artist.  I’m a writer.  I’m a chocolatier.  I’m a friend.  I’m a nurturer. There has to be a new way for me to live.

A couple of years ago I had the opportunity present itself to be free.  I had grown up and played nice.  And all I wanted to do was go be a gypsy.

But that was running away.

Something is pressing differently inside of me now.  I’m no longer a bird wanting to escape the cage, I’m a bird wanting to be free, to fly, to venture wherever I choose and land wherever I’m meant to land.

So maybe today as it all fell down, it is the push I need.  I’m lingering on the edge, dangling my feet over, peeking over the precipice.  Leap. Leap.  Stop sitting there and LEAP.  Jesus girl, jump and be done with it. You’ll love that you did.

No one’s going to steal my bliss.  Fuck those who wanna steal my bliss.  Shame on them.  You show me the door?  I’ll find a window.  Every time.

17 thoughts on “Magpie 36

  1. loving this in you. loving it. it is the way. has to be, doesn't it? fuck, i hope it is or i'm sunk!

    i have a university degree. i have experience in a variety of different professional careers, teaching, daycare, office admin (god help me!) but ten years ago i chose to leave it as it was beating the farq out of me. i now work a job job and find what i need elsewhere. it's not easy. i feel like i'm a writer and a photographer in my belly and i've had opportunities to make those things my job but i was afraid that marrying artistry to work in a humdrum manner would kill the art in me. and so it has been a careful negotiation to pay bills and yet try to find, to LIVE! art in the day to day. somehow how society is structured seems instinctually wrong to me. smells wrong. and so i try to live just outside of it in a small way.

    open windows and even those doors call me.

    i see you. (and wish you wing flapping horizons.)

    xo
    erin

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  2. Yay! Freedom! I definitely think your window is going to lead to a very exciting place (maybe literally!).

    I can relate to this so much. I constantly struggle with the need to pay the rent and be traditional…yet I am an artist, a freestyler (with a touch of OCD, ha ha), a writer, a creator. I'm on the edge right now, hoping to keep things going the way I like and not succumb to having to put my pinstripes back on…. I know things will work out for you, which gives me hope for my own situation!

    Sending you good mojo!

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  3. I am right there with you. I feel so trapped by my unfulfillng jobs! I got laidoff last year and said, I am changing this…moved out west and got some yoga gigs and I love yoga and whole spirituality, healing, psychology thing but I was not fulfilled there either (partly due to fear & anxiety) and it certainly didn't pay even half of my expenses in life. Now back in corporate life and I am hating it. It drains me and sucks the life out of my soul! It can be difficult to find that balance.
    Although, selling your home may be a good idea, as much as it has been a comfort for you, it may be time to leave it behind…Keep on flapping your wings 🙂

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  4. you can do whatever you dream–you have proven this in your ability to stay afloat and be employed –don't lose faith, small steps and a plan can get you there! keep creating and dreaming!

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