|reaching my city|
digging the comfort zone is something i’ve never been good at for too long. i’m always having to push the envelope a bit, test myself a little, but it seems like its hard to find people who will test YOU, challenge YOU, question YOU, in a way that’s all love because they know that you’ve got a bit more in you that you’re capable of. testing yourself and your limits just to see how strong you are, how open you are, how much more you have in you than you may have imagined.
i told my friend yesterday, i will try just about anything once. i will take what you give me and try to find a way to absorb everything it gives me. little things and big things. i rode a waverunner for the first time and also admitted i was scared for the first time. sounds silly but little things like that are good for me. if that’s one thing i hate to do, is tell someone i’m afraid. that whole weakness thing, doesn’t bother me in others but abhor it in myself. but, as with everything, something i’m working on…get a little more vulnerable, be okay with being scared, and ask for someone to help me be brave, to hold my hand, to protect me when i’m not feeling so courageous. being independent but not thinking that depending on someone means i’m weak.
and this year has been so beautiful in that. taking risks with my friends, finding people and places and experiences that give me chills, make me think, take me a little further down the road. show me the stars, walk me down the beach in the dark, go play in the waves, read to me, link your arm in mine and tell me a story. it’s easy and it’s lovely and it’s all that i need to be brave.