friday…desperately seeking sanctuary…

i am blue.  not angry so much any more about his departure, just pure shades of blue.  maxfield parrish blue.  rich, vibrant, gorgeously mixed emotions of sadness and hope all twisted and needing to be unfurled. 

seen plenty of clothes that i like
but i won’t go anywhere nice for a while
all i want to do is sit down
and write it all down and rest
for a while

today i wore my favorite red dress.  it has spaghetti straps.  hair down, music in ears, mind everywhere. aggravated and searching for a release as my bicycle could not seem to go fast enough, brake hard enough, hug the curves tightly enough.  if it was winter i’d have my ass kicking boots on.  but i’m here, i’m home, and i’ve got a girl aching for her friday evening stroll.  so i wipe the beginning of a tear away and let the smile return.  just a little though…i’m still varying shades of blue even if i’m in red.

on a happy red dress day a thousand memories ago. 

you know those certain melancholy songs…they take you to a certain moment, a certain feeling where you just sit and dip your toes in those feelings you remember…anymore i stir in those feelings until they absorb – it’s never any use to run from those feelings…invite them in and get to know them before you give them the boot….

run baby run – sheryl crow
thieves like us – new order
running to stand still – u2
all apologies – sinead o’connor (nirvana)
special cases – massive attack
alright for now – tom petty
you belong to me – carla bruni
such great heights – the postal service
sunny daze – will west
skylark – cassandra wilson
into the mystic – van morrison
something stupid – frank sinatra

i am going to sink into the sheets tonight, a soft crisp white set of sheets and a late july breeze and a touch of the blues.  it’s been a week that has pulled much out of me, and i would do anything to refill.

short sands beach near oswald west, my mecca

3 thoughts on “friday…desperately seeking sanctuary…

  1. yes…the moments are further between but it still creeps up and surprises at me, especially when i'm tired.

    i agree, there are a few songs that i just bypass, turn off if they come on. when my dad first died, the song 'you are my sunshine' was what he sang to me when i was little and i just can't hear it anymore as it leaves me totally wrecked.


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