insomnia on a saturday morning

view from my bedroom window as i write

it’s not a serious problem like it once was, but i still get the insomnia sometimes.  this week has been challenging for me.  the pup is doing me no favors at all – if she gets up, i hear her – her nails on hardwood, pacing until i wake up, earlier and earlier.  i feel like i’ve moved in with my grandpa grant up in ryderwood.  4:30am, he was up making waffles.  crack of dawn if not earlier, the farm never left him.  my older sister and i slept in the guest room adjacent to the kitchen with those closet-y doors with the slats in them, so when he was up, i was always conscious of it.  (no my sister was not, she’s the kind that could sleep through a freight train).

it’s amazing when you are up at such an hour if you give it a chance – meaning, go with it.  walk into your back yard or onto your front porch and enjoy the silence just before dawn breaks.  as i write this, the photo i posted is no longer relevant as the sunrise is occurring and suddenly, the quiet is broken by a thousand chirping birds.  when i look out to the right from my bed out my window, i can now see my little garden, and fire pit, and the green grass of the lawn that’s nearly half yellowed (i don’t believe in watering lawns, seems silly and wasteful to me, especially since it will be green before long as fall arrives sooner than we want to imagine).  and i think about my upcoming day.  truffles on the agenda as i have two weeks til showtime.  blueberries featured, as you can imagine – the whole blueberry stuffed into a truffle is my seasonal favorite.  and i’ve been invited to a barbecue by a former coworker who lives on the same street as my grandmother’s empty house, a trip indeed (but who can say no to ribs and cocktails, now really?), so it’s looking like a blueberry cobbler kind of day as well.  93 degrees in the forecast, bleahhh.

i don’t mind the sunshine so much but have never been a fan of intense heat.  okay i’ll preface that.  intense heat here in the northwest.  because hey, i’ll admit, wearing a teeny weeny bit of nothing and walking down the mexican coastline was not a problem for me.  last night i was riding home from the store fairly late in the evening, enjoying the cool air, and rode by the peninsula park neighborhood pool, which is adjacent to the rose gardens.  i forgot if i ever went to that pool as a child, but seeing the kids laughing and talking as they walked home, towels wrapped around them and oblivious to the world, that just made me think of summer and all the sweetness of it that we forget about. little simple things that are so lovely and so easy and so taken for granted.  and yes sometimes i feel like an old bitty talking this way…but hell, call it out when you see something beautiful, oK?

it’s going to be a good day  for a nap.  i don’t know if there’s anything more luxurious than feeling mellow in the middle of the day and going with it…slipping back under a cool sheet in the middle of the day and cozying up, then waking up a couple hours later all refreshed and chill, ready to start the evening?  i suppose i’m spoiled not having children yet, so with that i’m taking these moments and breathing them in as much as i can. while i may have my internal struggles and moments where i question myself, it’s easy when i just stop myself and look around.  it’s a good life.  i have the most wonderful people around me, near and far.  i’ve got a job.  i have creative outlets. i have my dog.  i have a sanctuary.  i’m a lucky woman.

  One thought on “insomnia on a saturday morning

  1. July 24, 2010 at 7:38 am

    I've stayed up for my share of sunrises and they can at times make things seem different, and at times, more beautiful and enchanting. The drain on your brain sort of slows things down and make things more visible sometimes. And again sometimes I stare blankly at the ceiling.

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  2. July 24, 2010 at 8:17 am

    you know…5am is when i have the most clarity. Sometimes thats good and then its bad.

    ok i have the same issue with my Spike. I have hardwood floors too and his nails clack so loud i wonder if it hurts him. i clip his nails but they still go all reggae on the floor. LOL

    and coming from India…i HATE heat. Anyone from India will attest to hating the heat. GIve me the freezing weather anyday. at least i can put on warm clothes.
    but being a woman…when its hot i cant really strip down to my undies like men can ya know.
    HMPF.

    loved this post.

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  3. July 24, 2010 at 9:11 am

    christopher..seriously a combination of both…my brain feels like pudding now after waking up

    designer…that's why i got rid of my roommate! last year i'd come home and it would be hot and he'd be around, so this year when i get home, at least at HOME i can be comfy!

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