april 28


you know i’m more than you see
don’t you?

sometimes i walk down aisles and lose myself in thought, and you think i’m being deliberate. they always said girl, you never realize the impact you have on others. so what if that’s true? then tell me what i do to you. tell me when your heart stirs and tell me when you want to pull on my pigtails and for god’s sake, tell me when you see me that you just want to reach me.

fuck.

the other day i was stirred by a conversation with a stranger. unexpected. then like that, nothing. i have no expectations anymore. let me take this chocolate in my hands and watch you taste it, then you will see into me. the richness, the complexity, the flavor, the simplicity. i am full of anticipation at what the world may bring me.

today it rained – welcome to the monsoon, one said. i looked outside and i saw tiny buds in my garden. corn. fuck yeah. will it last? who knows. who cares? i planted a seed and it grew. metaphor of the week eh? sometimes you just gotta leave it be and if it is meant to grow, it shall. it will die on the vine or it will develop a sweetness that makes you close your eyes and giggle. my favorite moment in time – when someone has that effect on me.

tell me your story by tangling yourself up in me. mentally and physically and emotionally we blur and when i open your eyes, you are still looking at me. that warm hand pressed up against the small of my back. that one thing that makes me know, it’s peace when we share the same space.

this i tell you is what i dream about. my intuition has been on point for eons, so what if i let it have a temporary slip earlier this year? i know when i lay back on the grass and look up at the clouds that i am safe. no competition, just understanding that this deliciousness is mine for the biting into, you know?

yesterday i reminded myself of the adage that revolves around the idea of, if you are feeling frustration, love MORE not less. give your friends hugs, reach out even when you want to retract, let yourself sleep those extra ten minutes, go do what you must do.

tomorrow? red lipstick, black kerchief, rainy day, truffles. perfection along the street, and we’ll just see who dares to show their face on such a day. and you just might see me, laughing and closing my eyes.

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