from a letter once written

another lifetime

just getting in and the evening has wrapped itself around me. there are these little thorns surprising me and i find myself falling when i’m walking on the hard surface. inside me there is a strength that cannot budge yet i am soft and pliable and have my own fragilities that I hate to admit. your fears are tearing your mind into little shreds and something in me said after you left that maybe i should give you pieces of my courage and from that you will see into my truth. my promise of your safety is an easy one, the sanctuary i offer you is the depth you will always be able to flow within, discover without fear, indulge in the breezes while sinking into soft skin. where is it in life that it says we cannot play while falling in love, giggle amidst deep conversation, taste during sensation and curiosity. a trio of seasons and broken records or new directions? sometimes you are afar, reaching at straws. sometimes your voice is just behind my ear, breathing into me ideas of a shared life. but even on those days where my fingers press the seed into soil, when other boys reach for my hand, there is this pull that says it’s time to create a new reality, time to love more fully and more intimately, and time to see what he’s really made of. something about conversations over meat and vodka and sauce and candied yams and your head on my shoulder…. i slept and woke up with an easy recollection of what really matters most…and am ready to leap.

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