Grateful is something I need to continue to express for this life that I have. While there are so many things that I would like to be different in one way or another, there is so much that inspires me, and 2010 is a year that I am going after my dreams. Fuck the naysayers, isn’t that how the phrase goes? No? Well, close enough.
I have been enjoying great conversations with my neighbors these past four years and this past year I have gotten to know one in particular, an auntie-esque type who lived a great Sixties life and always was fun to stop and talk about my latest yard and garden project, have my pup nuzzle up to her, share a hug, laugh about whatever strikes us, walk down to the nursery. Last week when I had the deck posts in, we talked again about how she’d have to come over and sit on my deck, as she’d been so excited to see the finished product.
She is gone now. What I didn’t tell you is that my friend has Alzheimer’s. Her daughter owns the home and we knew one day she would have to move her into a facility. A neighbor on her walk tonight let me know that she has been moved out of the house. Didn’t get to say goodbye. Although she is still living, she has vanished and I feel such an empty place left by her absence. She is younger than my own mother. My friend loved the simplicity of long walks, but commented that she never remembered where she went on her walks. I feel bad for having brushed her off as I was in a hurry to unload bark and return the truck a few days ago. You think nothing will ever change. Yet as we built the deck this weekend, I wondered why she hadn’t walked by.
I have recently been told that I am one of the millions of Americans who will be afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease…. I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.
~ Ronald Reagan