there was a day once when i glistened like a newborn. a child wandering through the forest, i cried as i wandered, unable to gather together the losses. drenched in sweat, fire inside made its way to my surface and i exploded. i released. i ran for miles.
no one can really tell you, but that visit that evening was my first day of fighting back. back? no fighting forward. fighting? no. flowing. i began to fucking FLOW. there is passion i don’t envy and there is a lusting i have craved.
pieces fell around me and i noticed a pattern. your light was scattered around me. i was opened up, exposed and soft and naked to the snow. i walked. i looked you in the eye and i continued to stroll. i love you more dead.
i love you more dead because all that i had when you were alive is nothing compared to what i have today tonight right now. each day i inhale the air and know that my path is being uncovered for me as it should. as i love. as i create. as i absorb.
there is no memory in your eyes. only soul and heart and nature and breath. i sleep easily. i smile softer. i am more of me.